To Divorced Christians

"I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel..." Malachi 2:15

"Haven't you read... 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.'

'Why then,' they asked, 'did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?'

Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning."  Matthew 19:4-8

Divorce is not God's design and therefore it is sin.  Marriages were designed to last.  But divorced Christians are everywhere.  My parents are divorced and they are Christians.  I am a child of divorce so I know much of the pain divorce causes both to children and to the people divorcing.  On the eve of Valentine's Day I want to say a few things to divorced Christians.

1) God Still Loves You
I shouldn't even have to say this, but many divorced Christians need to hear it.  God still loves you.  Divorce was never God's design but not loving you is not an option for God.  Too many divorced Christians have heard tongues of wrath when God extends grace.  God will always love you.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

Add to the list in the above passage divorce.  God will not give up on you.  You have been divorced from your spouse but God will never divorce you.

2) You're Not Out of God's Plan
God is sovereign and omniscient.  Your divorce did not rock God's world.  At no point was He bamboozled by this situation.  Your divorce did not cause God to go to Plan B; there is no Plan B.  Will divorce change your life forever?  Yes.  Will it foil God's plan to fit you for Heaven?  Absolutely not!  Don't let anyone tell you that you spoiled God's plan.  Divorce is not good, but God is.

3) Honor Your Children's Mother/Father
 If children were involved in your divorce then you will always have some sort of relationship with your ex-spouse.  Honor your ex-spouse in front of your children especially, even when your ex doesn't deserve it.  Honor them when you think about custody, don't be selfish because your ex and your kids don't need that.  God's grace and love are showered on us in ways we never have and never will deserve, can't you show an ounce of that to your ex-spouse?  As a child of divorce I will tell you that this is very important.  My parents didn't/don't do this perfectly, but they make honorable efforts to do so.  Don't demonize the mother or father of your children.  If you and your ex-spouse are Christians you will both spend eternity in Heaven honoring one another perfectly, so practice that now.

4) Show Your Kids Jesus
All Christian parents should have this as a major goal.  Divorce does not disqualify you from doing this.  My Mom and Dad both do an excellent job of this.  Divorce doesn't make you a horrible person.  Show your kids Jesus by the way you interact with your ex-spouse.  Show your kids Jesus by the way you interact with them.  Be extraordinarily patient when they're angry with the situation.  If you are dating again do it in the same way you want your children to date.  If you are remarried live your new marriage centered on Christ and strive with all you have to make it last.  Divorce is not the best for your kids, but it doesn't have to be the worst either.

Divorced Christians, the bottom line is that God still loves you; I'm sorry if anyone in the Church has communicated otherwise.

Christians that are currently married, divorce hurts a lot.  Divorce hurts a number of parties and is not the design.  Remember that you are not superior to your divorced brothers and sisters in Christ.  Also, cherish your marriage and fight for it today.