All of the 10 Commandments maximize the joy of the entire community. Show me a community of people that follow all ten and I will show you a thriving, joyful community. I'm betting I won't see a community like this until I reach Heaven's shore. Sin kills joy; God's commandments are designed to give us full joy. The 5th commandment is no different.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
Commandments one through four primarily deal with our vertical relationship with God. Commandments five through ten primarily concern relationships within the community. And following one, two, three and four certainly helps enable us to do five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten with gusto (read Psalm 119 if you aren't sure about the gusto part).
So, why should we follow Commandment #5? How does it increase the joy of our community?
1) Strong Families are a Foundation of a Thriving Community.
How was this wandering group of Hebrews to become a thriving nation that persists in the Promised Land? Answer: honoring their father and mother. Yahweh gave them the secret sauce for having a long-lasting civilization and it was families in which the children, even grown children, honored their parents. In societies in which parents are not honored the old are discarded, the young are wild and grow to become insufficient adults, and those in the middle are driven to give up. In societies where parents aren't honored eventually no one is honored. Think back to the key phrase in the chaotic book of Judges: "...everyone did what was right in their own eyes."
Some of you are thinking through the exceptions to the rule, but we know that this commandment is foundational to good communities. Yes, we know that the Apostle Paul has to remind fathers not to provoke their children to wrath in response to this command (Ephesians 6:4), but honor usually begets honor in the family which begets communities that seek to outdo one another in giving honor (Romans 12:10).
2) Parents Can Enjoy Parenting.
Kids, do you want to know a secret? I will tell you what I have told the youth group and my own teen:
In the game of life parents enjoy being their kids' cheerleader far more than their referee.
This isn't to say that parents never will set boundaries. I'm saying that once boundaries are set it is a tremendous killjoy to have to repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat where the boundaries are. It is a pain in the butt to be the enforcer. "This hurts me more than it hurts you" makes so much sense to me now. I hate being the heavy. I love cheering for my kids when they do all the many things that are permitted in our family, rather than punishing for the few things that aren't.
Anger, resentment, frustration and the like are contagious. Have you ever had two phones call each other, put them on speakerphone and then place them next to each other? The feedback loop is awful. Anger, resentment, frustration and the like can create a feedback loop from Hell in the family and in the community. Joyous honoring and cheering for one another can create a Heavenly feedback loop in our families and community.
Children, imagine how nice your life would be if you lived in a home like this.
3) God Knows Best.
Perhaps you have tried to honor your parents and you aren't feeling any joy. Maybe you have a truly dysfunctional, crummy parent. Unfortunately, in our broken world there are times you have to honor your Heavenly Father and trust that there will be fruit from the seemingly fruitless obedience to commands like this.
I wish I didn't know parents that don't deserve very much, if any, honor; but I do.
When we come across those parents that aren't worthy of honor; when we come across those moments when our own normally good parents aren't worthy of honor, what do we do? We honor them anyway. We must never forget that our Heavenly Father really does knows best. We can never forget that we were shown immense honor and grace while we were still dishonorable rebels fighting against a Perfect Father. When we failed at honoring our parents, Jesus honored His Dad enough to follow through when His Father's plan included His being killed as a sacrifice for us.
Discover the joy of following the 5th Commandment today.
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