3 Parenting Lessons From Timothy

Timothy was unique as he was one of the first second-generation Christians and a pastor.

How did Timothy become a second-generation Christian who rose to the office of pastor-elder?  I believe the answer can be found in 2 Timothy 3:14-15 and I believe that answer provides a template for Christian parents.

"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to  make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." 2 Timothy 3:14-15

There are three parenting lessons in these two verses.

1) Teach Them Early and Often

We know from 2 Timothy 1:5 that Timothy's mother and grandma helped lay the foundation of his faith.  These women didn't sit back and wait for someone else to teach this child, they did it.  Timothy learned then what Paul was asking him to continue in.  Paul no doubt also taught Timothy, but we know from Acts that Timothy had a remarkable faith before he met Paul.  Why?  Because Lois and Eunice helped him know the holy Scriptures from the time he was a baby.  My Bible study partner is going to have a baby at the end of the Summer, my advice to him and to all parents is to start a Bible reading routine right away, before you even think it will make a difference.  Timothy heard Bible stories and psalms and wisdom literature and prophesy in his infancy.  It is NEVER too early and it's not too late for you to start pouring into your children, your grandchildren, or your friends' kids.  This teaching, according to verse 15, makes them wise for salvation.  Timothy had a knowledge of the holy Scriptures (Old Testament) that gave him a skill (aka wisdom) to see what the Gospel was more clearly and therefore be saved.

2) They Have to Own It

"... and have become convinced of".  Paul says that Timothy learned the truth but then was convinced of the truth.  Parents, grandparents, friends and neighbors can't make anyone believe.  Prior learning gives our kids a jump start to being convinced.  Prior catechism and Bible knowledge helps our children become familiar with the truth, but believing is up to them.  Building a foundation isn't brainwashing because Christians are those who are themselves convinced the Gospel is true.  Lois and Eunice could have done a miraculously good job of teaching Timothy but the being convinced was in his court.  Only God has the authority and skill to perfectly bring all those He desires to a saving faith.  Don't try to strap God's burden on your shoulders.

3) You Live Your Greatest Lesson

Timothy's mother and grandma and Paul lived convincing lives.  Look at verse 14 again.

"... continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, BECAUSE you know those from whom you learned it."

Paul gives two reasons why Timothy should continue in what he became convinced of.  One is all he knows from the holy Scriptures.  The other is because he knows those from whom he learned it.  What Paul is saying here is that Lois and Eunice lived a life that showed that Christ's message was true.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, SO THAT the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Eunice, Lois and Paul lived the "so that" of these verses.  What's one way that Timothy was convinced that the Scriptures were God inspired and powerful?  He saw what these words and paragraphs and pages and books did in the lives of his mom, grandma and mentor.  Their lives were the proof.  Just like three healed coronavirus patients begin to convince you that the miracle drug is powerful and effective, so a changed and growing life of righteousness and good deeds proves the ultimate miracle cure.

In conclusion: parents you can do this.  Teach them early and often.  You don't need to be a theologian, you simply need to do it.  Don't burden yourself with trying to do God's work.  You lead these kids to water and God will help them drink.  And keep a close watch on your life of faith.  Your kids life of faith will be taught and caught.  Let your life be evidence of God's working.  This means that while you're desperately concerned about their faith you must tend yours as well today.

My Miscarriage Prayer

My wife had a miscarriage Tuesday just after supper.  It was confirmed on Wednesday.  She was only six weeks pregnant, but the pain is still real.

Miscarriage is all too common.  We are not alone and you are not alone.

If you haven't noticed, I think either out loud or in writing.  Below is a prayer I wrote Tuesday night.

"If this is your will then I thank you for it.

I don’t know if my saying that comes from my faith being strong or the fear I felt about having another child being strangely relieved.  I don’t know whether to feel guilty or at ease.

I know you are good, you are wise and you are loving. 

I don’t know why this has happened to us today, but I remember that you are good, you are wise and you are loving.  Everything that happens to me is because of your perfectly good and wise plan done out of love.

But this hurts.

There are so many things we won’t be able to do.  We won’t know whether this is a little girl or a little boy.  Both Christine and I felt, for some reason, that this young life was a boy.  We won’t be able to have Anna wear her new “Big Sister” shirt.  I had imagined her wearing that to church on the first Sunday we could go back to the building.  We won’t be able to laugh as Joshua came up with more outrageous names like Jackolous or Cracker.

I feel robbed but I’ve only known about this child for a few days.  You’ve known since time before time.

I don’t know how to help my wife best.  This hurts her more than it does me.  I don’t know that, but I’m sure it’s true.

It is comforting to know there are things this child won’t ever learn.  They’ll never learn what it feels like to be disappointed.  They’ll never feel the pain of a sunburn.  They’ll never feel heartache.  They’ll never know the feeling of speaking to a ceiling and wondering where you are.  In some ways this is the life I would choose for all my kids, but selfishly I want to know this little boy or girl here and now.  I want to take a nap with him sleeping on my chest.  I want to feel her kick in Christine.  I want to see Anna look at him the way Joshua looked at her.  I want all these things.

But you are good, you are wise and you are loving.

If this is a miscarriage, I need you not to miscarry us.  I need you to help me through this.  I need you to help me help Christine.  If this is a miscarriage, I need you to tell my child how much Daddy loves him.  Tell him I’m coming as soon as you let me.  Tell him eternity seems about right.

If this is your will then I thank you for it.  Help me thank you.  I believe, help my unbelief.

Amen."

Make This an Easter to Remember

One Christmas my family was particularly broke.  I was very young but I was aware that my parents didn't have much money.  And that Christmas was my very favorite as a kid.  I don't know exactly why it was, but I always had a special place in my memories for that Christmas.  I remember my parents got me a Ghostbusters car and dropped it from the roof after a bell rang as if Santa had dropped it out of his sleigh for me.  I never believed in Santa, but I still loved that. Perhaps, even as a young boy I realized the efforts my parents put in to make our most broke Christmas whole for me.

This Easter will not go as any of us would have designed it to go.

Many families will be their most broke.  No families will be going to Easter service at church in the usual way.  This will be the oddest Easter ever for most all of us.

But this likely will be the most memorable Easter ever.

What will you do to make this Easter a happy memory?  What will your children remember about this Easter?  Will this Easter be marked with suffering or creative joy?  Will this Easter be remembered for what you did not do or what you did do?

As I thought about Easter 2020 I was nothing short of blue.  Easter is my favorite Sunday of the year.  Fathers' Day is nice and Mothers' Day is important, but what more important Sunday on the church calendar is there than Resurrection Sunday?  None.  So, I was bummed thinking about all that I was going to miss this year: church, taking the kids to Grandma and Grandpa's house, going somewhere other than my own address.

Then my wife changed my thinking.  She said she was going to cook a big Easter meal and invite a couple of our single friends to eat with us.  Now before you bag on us for not following social distancing protocol, the friends are joining us via videochat.  Christine is going to deliver them their meal and they will eat with us at the virtual table.

This idea got me excited about Easter.  This was so easy and yet far enough out of the box to move it from weird to special.  Easter 2020 will be special for us, not bad.  I hope this Easter is a fond memory for us and for everyone involved.

What will you do to make Easter 2020 one to remember forever?  How will you make this Easter special?

Now that you have a plan to make it memorable please don't forget to make it memorable in the right ways.  Make sure your memories of this strange time highlight your values.  Will you have a memory of the time you dressed up for Easter service and only had to travel to the couch?  Will you remember the time your neighbor hid eggs in your yard for the kids to find (this is really happening thanks to a great friend)?  Will your kids remember how Dad played extra Easter worship on his guitar even after the computer was shut off?  Will they remember extended prayer time for hurting neighbors and thanksgiving for a risen Savior who can help?  Will you reflect on how you took inventory of what really mattered to you as you looked at the blessings around you?

Easter 2020 is not going to go the way any of us non-hermits would have planned.  There will be more inconveniences and pure suffering around us than any other time in my life, but there can be good, deep, memory making joy, too. 

Plan to make great Easter 2020 memories today.

21st Century Lepers

When I saw that he walked in I got nervous.  My heart tightened a bit.  I watched as he went back to the sales office to gather the things he'd need to do his job and I took inventory of every place he touched.

My newest co-worker had just recovered from a probable case of COVID-19.  He had followed all the necessary protocol plus an extra day before coming back into the station.  He was only going to be there for a very short time because he, like millions of others, was working from home.

After a few minutes of fear I wondered how I would want him to treat me if I was in his shoes.  I felt shame and guilt for my thoughts and feelings.  I went out of the studio and back to him to ask if he wanted to share his story on the air.  He said he didn't want to at first because he felt like he'd be branded with a modern day scarlet letter, but then reconsidered because he felt if his story could help people in this time then it would be selfish not to tell it.  So he did tell it as we sat across the table, and I am glad we did.

Those who have had COVID-19 and those who have been knowingly exposed to it are feeling like modern day lepers.  I know that these people have to quarantine themselves for the common good.  My family and I did that after my co-worker shared that he was sick.  I'm not asking for people with the virus and those exposed to the virus not to follow the guidance of authorities.

But this will end.  The season of the COVID-19 crisis will end and we must start thinking now about how we will treat people.

In Jesus' day lepers were common.  They were ostracized from the community because of the contagious disease that they had and the authorities were right to do this.  The book of Leviticus reads like a manual for the priests who were the Department of Public Health of their day.  But that all being said, these lepers were lonely and starving for human connection and physical touch.

There are several stories about Jesus and His kindness to lepers, but I want to look at one account in the Gospel of Dr. Luke.

"While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, 'Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean!'
Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man, 'I am willing,' he said, 'Be clean!' And immediately the leprosy left him." Luke 5:12-13

First observation, no one but Jesus could do this.  It was against the Levitical Law to touch a leper because leprosy was extremely contagious.  When we touch uncleanliness, we catch it.  But Jesus did not break the Levitical Law because He has contagious purity.  When He touched the leper the leper caught Christ's cleanness, not the other way around.  So, this story should give us a sense of wow about Jesus, not permission to disobey public health ordinances.

Secondly, the leper didn't need to be touched to be healed.  Jesus healed people with words, with mud and from a distance.  Jesus didn't need to touch him.  So, why did Christ touch the leper?  Because this man had a need to be touched by a human, he had a desire to have his humanity recognized in some skin-to-skin contact.  Jesus touched him as an example to us, He touched the leper to show us how to treat the outcast of society. 

The COVID-19 crisis will end.  I don't know when and I think we've got a ways to go before it's over, but I do know it will end.  When it ends how will we treat people?  Will we love people or will we treat them as 21st Century lepers?  Will we embrace those desperate for human contact?  Will we lead our communities into acceptance of people or fear?

Those old enough to remember the HIV/AIDS crisis have a road map.  For years there were PSA's on TV and radio helping us understand that we could hug and touch infected people.  For years we had to be encouraged to step out of fear and into the kind of acceptance that Jesus invites us into.  Will the Church lead this time or will we lag behind?

This crisis will end, but when it ends will we allow scarlet letters to be shed?  When we encounter recovered patients will we treat them with imago dei dignity?

Ponder this for yourself so you can be prepared for what's coming later, today.