"L" was our first and only foster child.
A weird feeling enters your mind after you've had a foster child come into your home and leave. There's this relief that comes simply from raising three kids and going back to two. But there's also this feeling of having done your job. There's satisfaction of course from having helped reunify a family, but there's also a feeling of, "we've done our job and now we can retire".
When we started our foster care lives we knew we wanted only children 0-5 or so and that we could only handle one at a time.
Recently God had been preparing us to change our minds. We went to a class on how to care for type-4 curly, mostly African-American hair. At that class there were so many amazing families. These families were doing things far beyond what we were doing. We felt like we were on the JV Foster Team. There were pregnant couples taking babies, people taking sibling groups and so much more beyond what we felt able to do.
Meanwhile, our non-foster parent friends were convinced that we were some sort of amazing couple. They constantly told us how special we were... and all this while not having a foster child in the home. Somehow we needed to keep these praising people from finding out about the Varsity Foster Team.
We started to feel convicted about how safe we played things.
Then Pastor Brian gave a sermon about following Jesus. He kept talking about what it looks like to really follow Jesus. What it looks like to be like the disciples who left their lives behind, their plans behind, their family behind to follow Jesus. The conviction noose was getting tighter around our necks.
Monday night we got a call.
"Can you take in a 5 month old baby boy and a 14 year old boy?"
Of course this broke two of the fundamental rules we knew about the Ray Family Foster Care Plan. But the conviction noose had done its job. We both knew the right answer and we knew the right answer wasn't the answer our friends or family or advisors might give us. We knew the answer was, "Come, follow Me." (Matthew 4:19)
The boys would come the very next day.
That night before they arrived as we got into bed our minds and hearts were going a thousand miles per hour. We had so many questions. So many insecurities. So many worries. We knew we weren't capable and this wasn't our plan.
As we got into bed I said to Christine, "Our lives are being interrupted. Good to know our lives aren't really our own. We're only servants."
If you want to own your own life, don't follow Jesus. If you love your plans for your life, don't follow Jesus. If you want to play it safe, don't follow Jesus.
But if you want life and and life more abundantly (John 10:10), then follow Jesus. If you want a life that matters eternally, follow Jesus. If you want to take a risk and discover you're actually safer than you could ever imagine, follow Jesus. If you want to be a Christian, follow Jesus.
The baby and young man moved in last night. The baby is sweet as can be. The young man is so grown up for being only an 8th grader. We've gotten to meet their family and they are so very nice. I don't write this so you can begin the sainting process. We still aren't near the Varsity Foster Team. Don't build us up by tearing down these kids and their family in the least bit.
I write this to ask you what God is calling you to do. What is Jesus asking you to lay down in order to fully follow Him? What tangible or intangible stuff must you leave behind to follow Jesus? Because it's all just stuff. We lay down stuff to get a perfect pearl; we sell things in order to get treasure (Matthew 13:44-46).
There's so much more stuff in my life to which I cling. There are so many things I hold dear that the Apostle Paul calls crap (Philippians 3:8).
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
Philippians 3:12-16
If you want a simple life, don't follow Jesus. But if you want an abundant and exciting life, follow Jesus today.
(Please pray for us. Pray for wisdom. Pray for the boys. Pray for their family. Pray that this transition will be smooth, remember that it's not their Plan A either.)
We will pray Matthew! Your words and scriptures spoke to me. Thank you! These children will be blessed by your loving family and I am sure will return the blessing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting into words what I cannot say. I don't want the praise for "having such a big heart" or "I don't know how you do it." I want to receive these children into our hearts and home and help them heal. If I claim to be "pro-life" then I must help the children whose very lives I wanted to be saved.
ReplyDelete