This year I am not doing it because I want to be a better dad. Not that writing makes one a bad father, but there are only so many hours in a day. Writing daily is not difficult but it does take time. My wife knows and is helping me to know that she and the kids need more of my time.
I have been the dad of a boy for nearly three years now. As a recovering boy, I have a pretty good idea of what a boy needs. I know what and how he thinks better than my wife does. I have a past that equips me to know the world of a young boy and, to be honest, playing Batman still is fun for me.
But since November 2018 I have been the dad of a girl. First with "L" who left our home after six months and then to sweet Miss Anna as of Groundhog Day 2019. Being the father of a girl is very much the same in many ways but in some ways is foreign territory.
After the death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter the hashtag #girldad went viral. Kobe expressed to a member of the media the joy he had in being a girl-dad and she told the world and millions have echoed that joy. This is such a good thing to be celebrated. Across much of the world girls are not valued as they should be. In places like China men at one point outnumbered women by 33 million due to sex-selective abortion (which many nations have and are outlawing) and other evil factors. So #girldad is a wonderful and needed thing.
From the moment the ultrasound tech told us the baby developing in my wife's womb was a girl I wondered what she would need from me. #girldad and the discussion that followed was another opportunity to ponder how raising my daughter was different from raising my son. It was another opportunity to ask what she needs from her daddy.
What does my daughter need from me?:
She needs me to love her mom well. Miss Anna needs to see how a real man loves a woman. She needs to see the value I see in her mother. She needs to see what she should look for in a mate.
She needs me to love her in a way that makes me difficult to replace. I want her to know and experience a deep love from her daddy. I want her to know what it feels like to be loved well. She also needs to know that while marriage is the norm that her marriage status will not decide whether or not she is loved well by a man.
She needs me to teach her grace. She needs me to show her grace when she is in the wrong. She needs me to teach her how to give grace when her brother is in the wrong. She needs me to teach her the strength that comes from graciousness.
She needs me to tell her about the confidence she can have in who she is as a creation and daughter of Christ. She needs to know that she was knitted together in her mother's womb and in every stage of her life from skinned knee toddler to pimple faced teen and beyond she is a work of art by the Great Artist. She needs to know that her inner skills, talents and strengths are wonderful gifts to be cultivated and grown and used frequently. She needs to know that as much as her daddy loves her that her Heavenly Daddy loves her more.
She needs to be told the Gospel. Over and over and over and over and over and over...
Being a girl-dad is a good thing. Right now I'm a distant second to her mom in Anna's eyes, but I cherish those times when she lets me just hold her tight. Last Sunday I held her close and just dreamed of all the things she might do and the way she might be someday and I prayed that she would know Jesus and that I would be a bigger influence in her successes than her failures.
Parents, we have an ability to leave the biggest scars and the biggest positive marks on our children. May we be an influence for their flourishing and may their flourishing make their communities flourish. Girl-dads, here's to tea parties and big hugs; we have an awesome job, may we be what our daughters need today.
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