The old saying says that, "behind every great man is a great woman." I'll submit that behind every great married pastor is a great wife. Being married is by no means a requirement for someone to be a great pastor, but if a pastor is married his having a good wife is very important.
As a church member and as the son of a pastor I know that pastors' wives face high expectations and low exaltations. Let me give you three reasons that you should pray for your pastor's wife.
1) She Supports Him at His Lowest.
"... mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15b
Few people exercise that command more than pastors. Pastors are alerted to medical emergencies, church infightings, failing marriages, unfulfilled longings and much more on a monthly, weekly and daily basis. Pastors often bring that sorrow home with them. Pastors face immense pressure and spiritual combat. LifeWay has reported that 1 in 4 pastors have struggled with mental illness. The pastor's wife is there to support your pastor at his lowest. In his struggle with sorrow she often preaches to him. In his darkness her love often reflects the love of God to him like the moon reflects the sun.
2) She Sees Him at His Worst.
Your pastor is not perfect and no one knows that like your pastor's wife. More Sunday mornings than you will ever know he has been a jerk to her at home and then she has sat and listened to him preach to her and the whole congregation. The pastor's wife knows third only to the pastor himself and God Himself the sins that best grip her husband's heart. The humility she has to listen to what God is saying to her through the vessel that she uniquely knows the vast imperfections of is not a humility that is easily had.
3) She Sees You at Your Worst.
Pastor's wives get the experience of seeing congregants at their worst. They have to know about that barbed e-mail you sent her husband and still treat you with respect and honor. Much like pastors, elders or any church leader; pastor's wives get to see the sometimes ugly inner workings of church relationships and it can be difficult to see the beauty of the local church when the gunk creeps to the front of their minds.
Pastor's wives face high expectations and low exaltations to be sure. She's many times unfairly expected to be a perfect wife, mother and all around great woman. Yet those in the church too often forget to say thank you or too many don't know all the reasons to be thankful for them. In fact, how many of you knew there was such a thing as Pastor's Wife Appreciation Month? I didn't either.
So, let's pray for our pastor's wife (pastors' wives). Let's lift her up in prayer and ask Christ Himself to encourage her. And let's be an answer to our own prayers. I encourage you to pray for your pastor's wife and to encourage them in some way. You could send a card, get a small gift, have a conversation with her or send her a note, e-mail, text, etc. However you do it, I ask that you let your pastor's wife know that you appreciate all that she does, seen and unseen, today.