Christmas Letter 2023

 Merry Christmas from the Rays.  

2023 has been a year of change and growth for us.  The year has been so dynamic that as we write you we are sure to still have highlights of this year yet to come in December, including a trip to see family in Florida.

Matt and Christine celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary this year.  They marked the milestone a season early with a trip to an AirBnB in downtown Kansas City.  It was a long weekend filled with barbecue, Italian food, Austrian cuisine, spending a day with family, jazz, exploring, sleeping in and not cutting food for anyone.

Jamari had an especially change-filled 2023.  He worked hard and finished school early in February.  In May he graduated from high school.  In August Jamari moved to Georgia to work and continue to pursue his entrepreneurial dreams.  Before leaving he was able to have one final family trip with us to the Ray Reunion in Minnesota.  The house is so different without him but we're excited for him and proud of the man he's become and is becoming.

Joshua started the first grade this year.  He loves it and is an exceptionally good and willing reader.  He's enjoyed swimming lessons, T-ball, soccer and rock climbing as well as becoming a charter member of the local Trail Life chapter.  Joshua is our outdoorsman and has discovered a love of shooting guns and catching fish.  He spends most days playing outside with the neighborhood boys.

Anna is in her final year of preschool.  She loved swimming lessons in the Winter and Summer, tumbling in the Spring, T-ball this Summer and rock climbing this Fall.  She is the family monkey and will climb anything.  She could also draw or color for hours on end.  Anna also enjoys wearing dresses when she can and pulling off outfit combinations no one else thinks possible, whether they are or not is another story.

Gideon is two and is not yet in school.  He's earned the nickname he got in utero: Mr. Wiggles.  The boy loves to be able to move.  He loves doing whatever his older siblings are doing.  He's a headstrong boy and more determined to do things himself than his older siblings ever were.  Gideon can't wait to be big.  He's also so sweet and caring toward his little sister, especially when the others are away at school.

Faith was born in August.  She is hitting all the usual milestones and mostly avoiding being trampled by brothers, sister, dog or cats.  She loves being talked with, showered with love from her siblings and especially loves napping in her father's arms.  

As you can see 2023 has been a tremendous year for us.  As we look back at 2023 we can see how immensely blessed we are.  We hope you can say the same.

This Christmas as we look forward to another year we are comforted and confident knowing that Christ has come and He will come again!

Every Broken Road is Blessed

 When you read the first few chapters of the Gospel According to Matthew you can't escape one of his major points: Jesus' life fulfills prophesy.  It's inescapable.

Look at Matthew 4:12-16

"Now when He heard that John had been arrested, He withdrew into Galilee.  And leaving Nazereth He went and lived in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled:

The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali,

the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles...

the people dwelling in darkness

have seen a great light,

and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, 

on them a light has dawned."

Jesus once again fulfilled prophesy, but did you notice how?  Jesus was sent into the way of a 400 year-old prophesy by a modern problem: His cousin John was arrested.  When Jesus heard that John was arrested He withdrew... away from danger of arrest... to the very lands Isaiah foretold He would.  Pain, suffering and negative news drove Jesus into the way He should go with the Gospel.

Even the Son of God was sent where the Father wished Him to go via suffering.  How should we think we won't be?

God ordains, allows, uses, plans, causes the negative things in our lives to achieve His good.  For the Christian the bad news will always ultimately be good news.  For the Christian there is no seemingly broken road that isn't dripping with grace.

I meant to write this weeks ago, but I didn't.  Life has been busy at the Ray house.  I haven't had or made the time to sit and write and today I am glad for that.  

This morning I sat with a group of men and we talked about our past, both good and bad, and how that has affected our lives.  Some of the men spoke of incredibly bad circumstances and how they led them to salvation and into the life they now live.  This morning I heard testimonies confirming, once again, the truth I wished to write about.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good..." Genesis 50:20a

Christian, when you look at the circumstances of your life you can trust that God is loving you like He loved His Son.  When you encounter the news of the day you can know that God will ultimately and is currently working our His plan for the good.  

Trust in Him today.

Rejoice, Brother!

 Recently I watched parts of an interview with between Joe Rogan and Hulk Hogan.  I was never truly into WWF, WCW, WWE or any of that beyond having a basic understanding of it from all the boys my age having an obsession with it.  Though I rarely if ever watched it and only played a few video games featuring it I know Macho Man Randy Savage, the Undertaker, Ultimate Warrior, Andre the Giant, Jake the Snake, Diamond Dallas Page, Sting and of course Hulk Hogan.  

Knowing the Hulkster from wrestling or from "Hogan Knows Best" wasn't primarily what drew me in.  It was Hogan's shirt.

Hulk Hogan wore a shirt (that he never ripped off) that said "John 3:16 devotional team" on it.

Is Hulk Hogan a believer?  That was the question that made me click play on the YouTube video.  

After hearing some wild stories about professional wrestling for a while Hulk started talking about his faith.  As he explained his faith I found myself vacillating between joy and sadness.  I was sad because his ideas of the faith, as he expressed them in the video, were off.  Hulk co-mingled faith in Jesus with the, so called, law of attraction.  He talked of the New Age book/movie "The Secret" which professes positive thinking and manifesting one's dreams through one's own thoughts.  He talked of praying to meet and meeting a pastor that also believes in the pseudoscientific law of attraction.  I was saddened thinking of this Oprah theology church being where he found himself.

Hogan said something else that made me sad.  He said someone invited him to church and no one had ever done this before.  This was in 2008.  The man was 55 years old and this was the first time, in his telling, that someone had ever invited him to church.  Hulk flew, not drove, not walked, from Tampa Florida to go to church the very next Sunday.  

Now for the joy.

Hulk called Jesus his Lord and Savior.

I'll be honest, the sorrow of Terry Bollea a.ka. Hulk Hogan finding himself in a church whose beliefs were worrisome landed on me harder than the joy.  I looked up the statement of faith for that church.  The statement of faith was pretty orthodox but, of course, the unbiblical stuff he spoke of stuck with me.

Then I read Luke 15 in my normal course of reading the Bible.  In Luke 15 Jesus spoke three parables to the Pharisees and the scribes who grumbled about tax collectors and sinners drawing near Him. He told the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son (prodigal son).  All three highlight rejoicing when the lost are found.

"Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." Luke 15:7

"Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Luke 15:10

"It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found." Luke 15:32

Do I focus on the Hulkster's very real theological flaws or do I rejoice that he calls on the name of Jesus?  

See, all Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents.  Every time a sinner repents the angels come before God saying something like, "You did it!  Jesus, you saved another soul!"  And every time one of my brothers goes from dead to alive and lost to found, I am invited to celebrate.  Don't be like the older brother in the Parable of the Lost/Prodigal Son.  Come to the party and rejoice!

Now, am I asking Hulk Hogan to teach Sunday School soon?  Nope.  Do I feel the need to pray that his faith be sincere and lasting? Yes. Do I hope more people look up John 3:16 from his shirt than the stupid book "The Secret"?  Yep.  Theological fidelity is important.  Understanding and believing the Bible and not mixing it with the Old or New Age is fundamental.  But so is rejoicing in the lost being found.

The story has been often recounted of the way my Grandpa Ray would watch a Billy Graham Crusade.  He would enjoy the preaching and the music, but he would watch with tears of joy streaming down his face when "Just As I Am" was sung and the camera panned back and the streams of people could be seen flooding to the middle of the stadium during the alter call.  Tom Ray understood Luke 15 in a way I, and we, need to.  

Join all of Heaven and rejoice when the lost are found, the blind see and the spiritually dead rise today.

10 Reasons I Love Marriage

 

10 years ago I married Christine Lind.  10 years ago we went from two people from different families to one flesh that were two atoms of a new family. 

Being married is many things and so many will say that being married is work or is hard or is sacrifice.  Those things are true, some days more true than others, but I hope that's not the first thing you think marriage is.  Marriage is so many things including a picture of Christ and the Church but I want to tell you that marriage is, in the words of the theologian Tony the Tiger, GRREEAT!

I love being married to Christine and I can't imagine my life without her.  I think those of us that love being married need to say so more often.  Marriage is not for wimps, but it is so good.  Marriage has had an awful P.R. campaign over the last many years and I just want to give you ten of the many reasons I love being married.

10 Awesome Benefits of Marriage

1) You Get Someone to Play With

Board games, inside jokes, goofy looks at supper... there is something so great about having a sleepover with your friend that goes on indefinitely.

2) Someone to Watch With

Movies are a shared experience and it's great getting to watch and discuss, watch and laugh along together, watch and look to see if they're tearing up.  I love when we sit side-by-side and watch a couple episodes of The Office together before bed.

3) Kids

Hopefully you get the chance to make babies or adopt kids into your family.  A marriage is the germ of a larger organism.  Some marriages don't expand into this larger unit but most get to and God designed marriage to do this.  One of my greatest joys is having kids with Christine.

4) You Get a Ministry Partner

Two equally yoked can pull so much more.  In marriage you get a partner to give you the power of synergy in your ministry.  My wife and I have been foster parents.  I could not and would not do that alone.  It's amazing that I have a partner who wants to take risks for the Kingdom with me.  She and I partner to accomplish.

5) Free Kisses

You get to kiss and be kissed by someone that digs you.  Marriage gives you someone that loves and desires to do what God has designed in the arena that God ordained it for.  You are free to express yourself physically with someone that wants you to.

6) You Get Support on Blah Days

There are days when life just doesn't fire on all cylinders.  There are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. In marriage you get someone to lean on and cry on.  My wife has been there for me on days when I just felt off, on days when my family has experienced death, on days when I just didn't feel good enough.  We all need that support and it's been indispensable.

7) You Get Someone to Say Things You Can't Say to Others

There are inside thoughts that feel the need to come out and just shouldn't.  Your spouse can hear those and not hate you.  There are thoughts you're working out that aren't yet for public consumption; your spouse can hear those unfiltered things.  This isn't encouragement to be gossiping or crude.  This is about having that safe person to speak to and say things that you need to say.

8) Consistency

Marriage is until death do us part.  That's consistency.  The world around you may change, you may move, the kids will move out, your job may go away, but he/she won't.  In a world of flux it's great to have a north star.

9) You Have Someone That Believes in You

Haters and doubters abound.  We all need someone that is on our team, in our cheering section and genuinely has a high view of us. We need someone that refuses to let us beat ourselves up and believe the lies we think about ourselves.  My wife believes more in me than I do in myself.

10) You Can Become a Patriarch and Matriarch 

This is one goal my wife and I talk about often.  We want to have grey heads and watch a bunch of cousins playing.  We want to be the patriarch and matriarch of a family.  We want our ideals to outlive us.  My family has a bi-annual reunion that features fun, enjoyment of one another and a time of worship together and I love it.  My other side doesn't have that.  The difference is that Grandma and Grandpa Ray stayed together through thick and thin.  We want this and only marriage can give this to us.

I love being married and especially love that I'm married to Christine.  Marriage deserves to be celebrated and I will do that today.

Small Church, Big Encouragement

 Have you ever envied the big church on the other side of town?  You know, the church in the suburb or the one in the big city?  The one with fifteen paid staff members, the one with the first-class tech team, the one with the huge youth group, the one with the coffee shop built into the lobby.  And here you are.  You're serving in a small church.  Your church building doesn't even have a lobby.  Your pastor is bi-vocational and you're the youth volunteer who works 50 hours week at your real job and has four kids at home.

There are times when we look at what the other congregation has and what we don't have and, quite frankly, we feel like quitting or at least like God's going to need to perform a miracle for your church's ministry to make a difference for the Kingdom.

In these moments we don't need a bigger budget or role of members.  In these moments we need good theology.

That might not sound encouraging, but let me assure you that it is.  Let me introduce you to the word "y'all".  Some of you even north of the Mason-Dixon don't need an introduction, but y'all is the great word that means "all of you guys" to you northern folks.  If there's one southern word that the NIV, ESV, NRSV or KJV could use it is "y'all".

In the passage below let me show you a taste of "Y'all Theology" that is sure to be a big encouragement to small churches.  I will simply replace a you (meant to be plural and not singular) with "y'all" to help you see something great.

"To the church of God that is in Corinth (or place your community here), to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours:

Grace to y'all and peace from our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I give thanks to my God always for y'all because of the grace of God that was given y'all in Christ Jesus, that in every way y'all were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge--- even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among y'all --- so that y'all are not lacking in any gift, as y'all wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain y'all to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God is faithful, by who y'all were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:2-9. Matt's Southern English Standard Version

Did you catch the encouragement for your small church?

Verse 5 and 6 tell us that y'all in Janesville or Waverly or Holden or Smithtown or Springville or wherever you are, have all you need. "... in every way y'all were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge... so that y'll are not lacking in any gift..."

You personally do not have every spiritual gift you need to complete the task of converting dead souls and sustaining souls to the end guiltless.  But your local church body has all y'all need.

This is amazing!  God has given y'all every spiritual gift you need.  God gave the megachurch all the spiritual gifts they need, too.  Your church has the people in leadership, staff and volunteer roles that in the grace of God through Jesus Christ y'all need.  Read 1 Corinthians 1:2-9 again to see it for yourself.  Paul confirmed this truth to a rather messed up body of believers in Corinth and it is without a doubt true for your small church today.

This doesn't mean we aren't to grow and develop our gifts or to even hire more staff people.  No, this means that for the tasks your local church has in front of it today the grace to fulfill those tasks is right within y'all because of Christ.

So, the next time you're tempted, like I am, to envy the bigger church done the road remember this passage.  Thank God for the way He's enriched that big church.  Pray for their ministry to be even more fruitful and God-honoring.  Then thank God for all the ways He's blessed and enriched your local body and ask Him to reveal how y'all can use your perfectly placed gifts to serve, defend and expand the Kingdom of your God today.

Seek the Greater Glory

 Have you ever been a coward when it comes to proclaiming or even just claiming your faith?  I have.  Have you ever entertained the idea of what you might be like as a missionary in a foreign land, but then when someone asked you what you did this weekend you mention everything except for going to church and spending the afternoon with your church small group?  

We do these things often.  Most of us lack courage in the smallest of things.

Let's look at a couple of verses in John that pointed a mirror first at me and then helped me see Jesus more clearly.

"Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in Him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would no be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God." John 12:42-43

Can you see yourself in this?  I can clearly.  Many of the authorities in Israel believed in Jesus but would not confess faith in Him.  They didn't confess because they were afraid.  They were afraid to be cast out of the synagogue, which was to be cast out of their society.

Have you been afraid to confess Christ for fear of being ostracized from society?  What if following Jesus puts you on the outside of the cultural current?  What if being a Christian causes you to be excluded from your group at work?  What if you're a Jesus Freak in their eyes, and not in the cool 1970's sense?

We feel this fear and we, I included, give in.  We give in because we "love the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God."

Quick question: Would you venture to guess the authorities in this story, at this time in their lives, would be counted among the saved?  I know that we can't look into their hearts and know, and I know that John doesn't say, but would you guess you would find them in Heaven if they died that night?  I would guess, with hope that I'm wrong, no.

"If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

We must be courageous confessors of Jesus.  You know this, I know this.  So, how do we do this?  Does this passage simply contain a great guilt trip?  

Thankfully, no.  This passage is not a source, primarily, of guilt but of great motivation.

"... for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God."

We all seek glory and that isn't necessarily wrong.  We are made to seek glory.  We are made to strive for glory and to want to view glory.  This is bound up in us. The trick to being a courageous confessor of Jesus is NOT to deny ourselves glory.  The life hack to this courage is to seek the greater glory.

What is glory?  I will say in this post that glory is a weight, a scope and amount.

The Weight of Glory:

Should we love the applause and atta boys of man more than that of God?  I was listening recently to an interview with the spectacular sports broadcaster Bob Costas.  Bob recounted a story in which he had been on a program talking about whether Hank Aaron or Barry Bonds was the true home run king in his eyes.  Bob said Aaron.  Some time after that TV appearance he received a call.  "Please hold for the president," said the caller.  In a few moments former U.S. President George H. W. Bush was on the line telling Costas what a marvelous job he did conveying what Mr. Bush felt was the correct position.  I ask you this: What opinion about Bob's work has more weight: The opinion of the Twitter mob or that of the former leader of the free world?  

How much more weight does the applause and atta boy from God Almighty carry than that of the created people of this world?  Chase the weightier glory.

The Scope of Glory:

How long will the best of the glory man has to offer last?  50 years?  60 years? How long does the glory God has to offer last?  In a word: Eternity.  

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." Matthew 6:19-21

 

The Amount:

If I told you that you could have a gift from one of two houses, which would you choose: A gift from my house or a gift from the house of billionaire Amazon founder Jeff Bezos?  If you said mine, you're either very sentimental toward me or a suck up.  Only a fool would want a gift from my modest house and not a gift from Bezo's house (one of which he rents from Kenny G for $600,000/month).  

How much more should we want the glory that comes from the treasury of the owner of a cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:12)?  How much more wonderful and expansive is the glory that God can give than that men can?

Meditate on the greater glory.  Spend time thinking deeply about how much more God can offer you than a man or all men.  You are made to chase glory.  From whom will you get the most and see the most.  Think on this and act on your conclusions today.

Christ-Anchored Courage for Fathers in a Crisis

 On Father's Day I got the joy of team preaching with my friend Dan.  You can hear that sermon here or watch it here (click the highlighted words).

We preached through Psalm 11 and I hope it encourages you today.

"In the LORD I take refuge;

how can you say to my soul, 

'Flee like a bird to your mountain,

for behold the wicked bend the bow;

they have fitted their arrow to the string to shoot in the dark at the upright in heart,

if the foundations are destroyed,

what can the righteous do?'

The LORD is in His holy temple;

the LORD's throne is in heaven;

His eyes see, His eyelids test the children of man.

The LORD tests the righteous,

but His soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

Let Him rain coals on the wicked;

fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup.

For the LORD is righteous;

He loves righteous deeds;

the upright shall behold his face."

Psalm 11 

Do You Love the Church?

 "John said to Him, 'Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.'  But Jesus said, 'Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me.  For the one who is not against us is for us.  For truly I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.'" Mark 9:38-41

Am I doing enough to be ecumenical?

Does my faith lie first in Jesus or denomination?

How can I cheer other churches on more?

As I reflected on this passage these were the questions I asked myself.  Some times, or sadly many times, we are like John in this passage.  We proudly tell Jesus how we stopped others who proclaim Him and do good works in His name.

I imagine that John expected an attaboy and not a lecture after his statement.  I suspect John really was concerned about the messengers having the right and best education before they went about the work of the Kingdom.  I honestly don't think John's motives were even mostly un-pure.

Aren't we often like John?  Don't we come to Jesus looking for approval after we spoke against the local charismatic or the TV preacher with different eschatology than our surely correct church has?  Don't we fight in the weeds when the world is white for the harvest?

Don't hear me wrong; good theology is important.  The seemingly little thing that divides our understanding really can be huge.  Yet, as my pastor once said: "God is often more okay with a needle of truth in a haystack of bad theology than we are."  

Who is an unsaved person you've prayed earnestly for?  Think of them now whether they be a son, a sister, a cousin, a college roommate, a husband, a co-worker.  Think of that individual and remember your fervent prayers for them.

Now imagine that person was reached for Jesus by someone that attends one of the denominations within orthodoxy yet a denomination that you could never, ever see yourself attending.  How do you feel about that?  Are your feelings more joyful or more concerned?  I'm willing to guess that if your feelings are more concerned for that person than joyful that you are in need of a lecture like John got from Jesus.

The field is ripe for the harvest, pray for laborers of many Jesus-loving denominations to work it (John 4:35-36).

"And He sat down and called the twelve.  And He said to them, 'If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all."  Mark 9:35

Do I lower myself to serve the Church universal?  Do I humble myself to pray for a church that I wouldn't attend?  Do I have joy for those being saved for Jesus in all churches?

Pray that you might be more ecumenical today.

A Life Worthy of Imitation

"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1 

My friend Harold Anderson, the patriarch of our local church, died on Thursday.  Harold was 91 years old.

When Harold died no one said "Too soon" or "What a waste."  Harold lived a long, full, productive, faithful life.  He lived a life worth imitating and, though he wasn't my relative and perhaps this isn't my place, I want to share some things about Harold that a Christian should imitate.

1) Harold Budgeted Missional Kindness

Hundreds of people through the years went to lunch their first Sunday at Grace Baptist Church with Harold and his wife Janet.   I was one of those that went to eat at Hy-Vee with the Andersons right after Sunday service.  I was 18 and they were in their 70's, but age differences didn't matter.  They wanted to help visitors of any age or background feel welcome.  So, I went to eat with them and had such a great time with these kind people that I never visited another church in Waverly.  Grace, at that time, didn't have a pastor, but they did have Harold and Janet, so it was a church worth staying put in.

Taking visitors out to lunch was a priority to them.  Their son told me they didn't have a budget line for this, but to say 'yes' to this they had to say 'no' to things they might have wanted for themselves.  

Do you budget for missional kindness or do you spend every dime you make on your needs and pleasures?

2) Harold Welcomed the Lonely Into His Family

Harold had a large family by biology.  He had a much larger family if all the non-biological members were included.  The Andersons seemed to have a knack for allowing the lonely into their family (Psalm 68:6).  Many in the church called him Grandpa and Janet Grandma and they treated so many as unofficial children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Have you made your family open to the lonely that God desires to put into families?

3) Harold was Faithful

Harold sacrificially loved the same woman for 71 years in the covenant of marriage.  In fact, almost every time you read Harold above and below this you can add "and Janet".  They were a team and so utterly one after nearly three quarters of a century of marriage.  There weren't many anniversary dances that they weren't the last ones standing.

He was a charter member of Grace Baptist Church in 1964 and for 59 years kept his covenant to Grace.  I have seen many faithful people come and go in churches through the years and there is nothing inherently wrong with moving churches, but there is something so good and pure about this kind of devotion to the local church.  I have friends and family members that are church planters and I'm sure that if you asked them if they could have someone with an MDiv or someone like Harold, they would pick a man half as faithful as Harold every day of the week.

"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master." Matthew 25:21

What areas in life have you been called into faithfulness?

The day Harold died, both before and after his passing, I had an older song stuck in my head: "Thank You" by Ray Boltz.  Harold wasn't one that was asked to teach adult Sunday School or to preach or to lead the signing; rather, Harold gave to the Lord from the pew, from his house, from a truck cab and from his heart.  If there's a lesson to be learned from Harold's life it's that greatness in the Kingdom of Heaven often looks, as Eugene Peterson said, like simple, long obedience in the same direction.  Harold's life was great.  He took his talents and faithfully maximized them for his Master.  I, for one, will consider how I can follow his example as he followed Christ's and I invite you to do the same today.

Humility Rooted in Power

 No one is impressed when a weak man is gentle.  Everyone takes note when a large, powerful man who is obviously capable of great violence is gentle.

No one notices when a poor person lives a simple life and feels approachable.  Everyone is impressed when an extremely wealthy person lives humbly and is down to earth.

Humility from the weak and lowly shouldn't cause you to take note, but humility from the high and mighty does.  

Look at John chapter 13 with me for a moment.  This is the chapter in which Jesus washes His disciples feet.  It's a very familiar story and in the coming weeks we will likely hear about it again.  But notice how John sets up his rendition.

"During the supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given Him all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper.  He laid aside his outer garment, and taking a towel, tied it around His waist.  Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him." John 13:2-5

There is a lot that has been and could be written about this Maundy Thursday scene.  There is the fact that Jesus washed Judas' feet in the passage alone that could spill much valuable ink worthily.  But I want you to catch what's said in verse three:

"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God,"

John wants us to see and understand that Jesus served His disciples while stooping from a position of power.  Simply being a rabbi to a group of disciples made Jesus above the lowly job of foot washer, but John goes so much further.  Jesus isn't just a rabbi.  Jesus had received ALL THINGS from God, who is His literal Father.  Jesus had come from the opulence of Heaven and was about to return to that place of holy luxury.  Once Jesus had considered these facts He got down and performed a lowly act of service on people who were beneath Him in every sense and one that was soon to betray Him.

"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.  For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." John 13:14-15 

Christians, much of our humility comes from a recognition of our lowly state in comparison to Jesus, and it should.  We are immensely less immense in every good quality.  We all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  We have many reasons for this type of humility.

Yet, Christians, to truly exercise humility in service to our fellow man, we must have humility rooted in our high stature.  We are children of the Most High God and the King of kings calls us His friend.  We have an inheritance that can never perish that is kept in Heaven for us (1 Peter 1:3-5).  

Humility that begins with an acknowledgement of the high stature that we've been graced into has the ability to be boundless.  Like Jesus, we can serve in any way and not have our stature in the reality of all reality affected.  Nothing can bump us down from the high place we've been set.  In fact, humility that stoops low ensures a higher place because God exalts the humble (James 4:10) and the last will be first (Matthew 20:16).

It is this type of humility that impresses a watching world.  It is this type of humble service that causes the world to see our good works and give glory to our Father who is in Heaven (Matthew 5:16).

Follow your Lord's example.  Take stock of what you've been graciously given and then put your towel around your waist, dip down low and serve today.

Escaping the Poverty Mindset

 Most of us live with a poverty mindset.

Most Americans would call themselves middle class.  I have met people I would consider poor and those I would consider rich and both groups happily and quickly call themselves middle class.  Everyone but a few can think of someone richer or poorer than they.  Yet, I would argue most of us live with a poverty mindset.

Let me show you what I mean from Luke chapter 12 verses 22-34.  Please pause now to read the passage.

There are three things I took away from this super familiar passage of Scripture.

1) Don't Sweat the Small Things.

Jesus enters this particular passage after talking about a rich fool.  The fool felt rich and was ready to live the retirement of his dreams and God responded with: 

"Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?' So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God." Luke 12:20-21

Jesus enters the very famous passage about not worrying with a plea for the rich to not be confident in their own wealth.  It's a strange way to get into a sweet passage about how we shouldn't worry about what we should wear or eat.  Jesus is saying that life is about more than one's 401k and enjoying great food or drink.

Because life is about more than food and drink and money then we should trust God to provide those things for us.  Jesus says that if God feeds birds, that don't matter near as much as you, then He'll take care of you; if our Heavenly Father beautifully adorns flowers, that are here today and gone tomorrow, then trust that He will take care of you.

Don't sweat the small stuff for:

"For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.  Instead, seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:30-31

Don't sweat the small stuff but focus on the big things.

2) We Aren't Poor in the Least.

When we are anxious about the small things in life, about the cares of our basic needs, we demonstrate that we don't know our Father well.  Our Father is the King of kings and the Lord of lords.  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10).  

Luke includes a part of Jesus' teaching here that Matthew doesn't and it's amazing.  Behold what Luke shares in the very next verse after what we just read:

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32

Jesus is saying, "Yo, why are you living with a poverty mindset?  Why are you worrying about having enough food or any clothes to wear?  My Dad, your Dad, is geeked up to give you the empire He's established!"

Christians, why would we have a poverty mindset when we're rich beyond our wildest dreams? I'm not calling for a neglecting of the money wisdom or the work ethic in the book of Proverbs or anything like that.  No, I'm arguing that we need to have a mind that knows the immeasurable inheritance we've been given and that thinks accordingly.  Brothers and sisters, quit acting like we're in poverty, even if our bank account tells us we are.  

This isn't prosperity gospel.  This is Gospel.  Jesus tells us that we need to cast out our fears and anxieties about the small stuff and trust our Good Father who is excited to give us the Kingdom.

3) Be Generous.

Because this is true we aren't to be hoarders.  Because this is true we are to be as generous as a billionaire philanthropist.  I'm not saying you should write million dollar checks to charity when you have far less in your bank account.  That's fraud and would be foolish and sinful.  

Here's what I am saying.  Bill Gates and Warren Buffett started The Giving Pledge.  They and many other billionaires have pledged to give massive amounts of money to causes they deem worthy.  Here's the thing though, Bill and Warren and the others that have made the pledge are still the most wealthy men on earth.  Why is this?  It's because their wealth is so large and continues to grow at such a rapid rate that they have trouble giving it away fast enough.

I'm saying give like that. Give like someone who knows their inheritance can't be negatively affected by their giving.  Millions to a billionaire is a drop in the bucket.  Give with that mindset.  In fact, give like someone investing.  Jesus tells us in this passage that giving is investing and investing in something more sure than any investment the Oracle of Omaha has ever made.

"Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Luke 12:33-34

Rid yourself of a poverty mindset and find freedom from the anxieties of the world and freedom to be generous today.

Christians Mustn't Share Fake News

 A website I had written for is folding.  I am reposting some of the pieces here to keep them from disappearing forever.  The following is one of those:

I am a member of the media.  As such, I like to begin my day with a cup of coffee and a ZOOM call with other members of the media and George Soros to get my marching orders for the day.

At least that’s what you may have been led to believe.  “Media” has become a boogeyman.  My own family has said phrases like: “the media is all garbage.”  To which I reply, “Hi, I’m media.”

I am a member of the media.  I host a morning radio show five days a week.  I do have coffee every morning but I’ve never met George Soros nor would I recognize him if he popped into the station.  But as a member of the media and as a citizen of my town, my state, my nation and my world, I am concerned about the lack of media literacy and the abundance of misconceptions about news media.

I want to offer a few easy to use tips for greater media literacy but, before I do, I want to weed some of you out of this post.  It’s not that I don’t want you to read what comes after this paragraph, but it is necessary to question yourself before possibly wasting your time with the rest of what is written.

Do you want to know the truth or do you want to win an argument?  Do you want to find facts or do you want to be coddled into further believing what you already choose to believe?

Jesus asked in John 5:6 “Do you want to get well?”  I will ask the same question.  If you do want helps in becoming media literate continue on, if not, then thank you for reading this much and please leave an angry face on the social media account you discovered this post on.  But if you are a professing Christian let me warn you that the Bible is filled with warnings and admonishments to be pursuers and sharers of the truth.  Not bearing false witness made God’s top ten and it should make ours as well.  We follow the God-man named Truth; we should be people of truth as much as humanly possible.

Tip 1) Ask: is this opinion or news?

If the FCC could let me make one change to the vast wasteland that is cable news it would be this: I would place a label on all programs disclaiming whether it is news or opinion.  Our newspapers have Opinion and Letters to the Editor pages.  Our TV’s mix the two until many well-meaning people can’t tell the difference.  

Sean Hannity once famously said, “I’m not a journalist, I’m a talk show host.”  Hannity is right.  He’s an opinion man who talks about the news, he’s not a journalist.  Stephen Colbert occasionally has referred to himself as a clown, not a newsman.  Colbert is right.  This doesn’t mean they never say true things, but it does mean disseminating facts is not their primary job.

There is a MASSIVE difference in the standards for the news departments of these companies and the opinion departments.  My station uses FOX News radio updates and they are strictly factual, but others in the same corporation aren’t.  If you’re watching CNN and there are 12 people on a panel, they aren’t all there to read you the news; they are there to bicker for your entertainment.  It’s no different than in sports media when you see one guy reporting on a leg injury and then you see Stephen A. Smith shouting about the Cowboys.

I’m a radio host and as such, I admire the skill of someone like Rush Limbaugh.  Every weekday for 3 hours he gets people riled up about something.  For decades the man has had a massive following of people who either love him or hate him. It’s ratings gold and he’s great at it.  Don’t get me wrong, Rush may say true things, but his job is to entertain you so much that you listen to the commercials between segments while wondering what he’ll say next. 

There’s nothing wrong with listening to, reading or watching news opinion, but you must recognize it for what it is and what it is not.

Tip 2) Read the Darn Article 

A recent study from Columbia University and the French National Institute discovered that 59% of links shared on social media have never been clicked.  Meaning, millions of news articles are shared daily without ever having been read.  Couple this with the fact that clicks=dollars and you have a big problem.  Clickbaiting is good business, but it’s bad media literacy.  I post news stories on our station’s website daily.  I know for a fact that I could get more traffic simply by writing more bombastic headlines, but I know for a fact that people would have a wrong understanding many times if all they read was the headline.  DO NOT share news items you have not read, watched or listened to.  This doesn’t mean you have to consume every headline you see, but it does mean you don’t have to pass along every headline you see.

Tip 3) Google It

If you come upon a news item that interests you then use a search engine to see who, if anyone else, is also reporting on it.  MSNBC and Newsmax have very different points of view, but they should both agree that the event had indeed happened.  Some very intelligent friends of mine have passed along fake news, satire or old news.  Sometimes the news is so big you want to share it immediately, but take five extra seconds to Google it first.

Tip 4) Memes Aren’t News

This doesn’t mean that a meme can’t be true, but meme creators range from pure of heart to pure evil.  The woman in the picture isn’t necessarily the one who said the words.  The stats may not be accurate or up to date.  Once again, Google is your friend.  Plus, if a story in the news is important enough to share then it’s important enough to read more than fifteen words about.  Not many of us base our points of view on bumper stickers; memes are the bumper stickers of the internet.

Tip 5) Avoid Confirmation Bias

We all want to be right.  We all want our side to win.  We all think our shade of the political spectrum is best and there’s nothing inherently wrong with having a dog in the fight.  But seeking news only to confirm our previously held biases isn’t helping our towns, states, nation, and world.  Be most wary of the news that tells you what your itching ears like to hear.  Always remember that much of the news media sees you as a customer not as someone to be served honestly and this has only gotten worse, especially on the national level, in my lifetime.  

Don’t flee to newspapers, TV stations, radio programs and online sources that coddle your bias.  This doesn’t mean you can’t have trusted voices in your tribe that you go to, but it does mean that simply seeking out the site that agrees with you and ignoring the rest is a fool’s decision.  

I see this too much.  People Googling and then scrolling four pages down until the “AHA” is shouted.  People who once loved a network until it said their guy didn’t win Arizona in the election.  People running to the boundaries of acceptable journalism to feel the comfort of confirmation.  Stop this.  

Adfontesmedia.com has a great media bias chart if you need help navigating these messy waters.  I recommend it.

Media literacy is an important skill to have.  People have literally died this month for lack of it.  Families and friends become divided for lack of it.  Fools are made intentionally and unintendedly because of it.  For our society, truth matters.  For our witness, truth matters.  Seek the truth with wisdom: be media literate. 

Godly Sorrow

 A website I wrote for is folding and I don't want to lose some of the pieces I've written, so I am posting them here.  The following is one:

I went to the wrong entrance.

We had received a call about a little girl and had agreed to take our first placement.  I had thirty minutes to get to a place thirty minutes away and pick up this sweet, little girl.  I was nervous and excited at the same time.

In my nerves and excitement I went to the wrong entrance of this building.  This error caused me to be a couple minutes late.  I was eventually led into a room where the little girl was and where her mother was.  I was terrified.  I was in the room with the woman whose child I was taking.  I imagined the hatred she must have for me at that moment.

Shockingly, this potentially horrible and awkward situation allowed me to ask questions about bed time and routines instead of being a standoff.  I talked with this mother as tears streamed down her face.

Not many days later I received the case file on this child.  This mother had lost rights to multiple other children.  I was told by a social worker that when her most recent children were removed from her custody forever, she said, “I’ll just keep having kids until you let me keep one.”  My wife and I realized this little girl was very likely going to be our little girl forever.  We were sure this foster care placement would lead to adoption.  The mom had the deck stacked against her in the form of addiction and her track record wasn’t hopeful.

But something completely different happened.  The system broke her.  She broke down and gave up her ways of doing things.  She followed the prescriptions of the judge.  She jumped through every hoop.  She became a model for how foster care is supposed to work.  

Six months after our first foster care placement began the little girl was back with her mother.  Her mom is now a mentor for other parents whose kids have been placed into foster care.

Through immense sorrow she changed the trajectory of her life and of her daughter’s life.

Now another story.

A teen in the youth group had expressed her confusion about her sexuality and gender.  She was pretty sure what she was and it wasn’t a straight girl.  She had same sex attraction and felt as though she might want to express herself as a boy.  Everything in society told her that this was awesome.

One night she told me that as she read the Bible it seemed to her that she can’t have Jesus as Lord and keep acting on urges in a way the Bible clearly doesn’t endorse.  I applauded her for her honest reading of Scripture and said she was right.  I assured her she was exactly where Jesus liked her to be.  That Jesus loved when people were honest about their situation and honest about His Words.  Her dilemma was exactly as she described it.  I told her the parable of the hidden treasure and said, “The question is: Is Jesus worth it to you?”

She thought deeply about that question.  I hated to see her dour, but I was excited that she was inches away from salvation, in my view.

That night she posted about her dilemma on Facebook in a very honest, open and accurate way.  What ensued was tragic.

Post after post after post after post of professing Christians trying to ease her of the tension of her dilemma.  Post after post after post of those proposing an unbiblical third way around her fork in the road.

I cried that night.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation…” 2 Corinthians 7:10a

Therapeutic Christians, and there are hordes of them (us), avoid sorrow at all costs.  We just can’t stand feeling badly and we can’t stand others feeling badly.  Our radio stations must be “positive and uplifting”.  Our coffee cups and signs must bring a smile to our faces.  Our tolerance for sorrow is so low.

Are we denying people the gift of repentance by denying them the pain of sorrow? 

“Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it.  Though I did regret it…I see my letter hurt you, but only for a little while… yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance.  For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.  See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.  At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.  So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are.  By all this we are encouraged.” 2 Corinthians 7:8-13a

The Apostle Paul did not set out to cause sorrow but he was delighted that sorrow had occurred.  He was delighted because of the fruit of repentance which brought the fruit of salvation which brought all these other delightful results.

Likewise, we don’t intend to cause sorrow, but we can rejoice when godly sorrow comes because godly sorrow is fruitful.  We must resist the urge to avoid sorrow for ourselves and others.

God must lead those He loves to repentance and He will do that by any means necessary.  Through sorrow God labors to turn us from destruction and toward life itself.  

But why sorrow?  

C.S. Lewis wrote this in The Problem of Pain: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  Sorrow gets our attention. It screams, “This isn’t working!” and demands that we make a U-turn.

All sorrow serves the purpose of redeeming and sanctifying the elect.

Jesus promised that when He left, He would send the Holy Spirit.  One of the chief tasks of the Holy Spirit is to convict and one of the key tools of conviction is godly sorrow.  

“When He comes, He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement…” John `6:8

When we don’t allow godly sorrow to work in the lives of others and ourselves, we run the risk of quenching the Holy Spirit is His work (1 Thessalonians 5:19).  Therapeutic Christians may believe their intent is good while actually running counter to the workings God has ordained.  We must ditch the idea that all sorrow is bad.  We must instead pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:18) so we can make sure we work in step with the Spirit and not against Him.

Sorrow is uncomfortable.  Sorrow, in and of itself, is not good.  When Christ brings us into His Kingdom fully “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4). But until then we must trust that the Sovereign Lord is sovereign over all sorrow and is harnessing it to redeem and sanctify those He chose before the foundations of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight (Ephesians 1:4).

Not all sorrow is godly sorrow, but more sorrow is godly sorrow than Therapeutic Christians allow themselves to believe.  When godly sorrow enters your life or the lives of those around us, we must heed the words of the angels: Fear not.  Fear not, because God’s providential love often uses sorrow to lead those He died for to salvation in repentance.

Foster Care is Evangelism

 The following is an older post from a site I wrote for that is folding.  I'm reposting some of the posts here so they are not lost. The following is one of those:

My wife and I are foster parents. As I write this we have a little boy named Joshua that my wife gave birth to and a little girl named Anna that was just born on Groundhog’s Day. And we have the sweetest little girl that my wife didn’t birthe.

We’ve fallen madly in love with all three of our kids. We’ve also fallen in love with the mother of the little girl that we get to help raise for now. We love her mother deeply and are cheering for her to succeed and to break our hearts when the sweet young girl leaves our home and goes back to hers.

Many have asked us why we do foster care. There are many reasons. For one, the Holy Spirit lives in us and He causes us to love mercy and to act justly (Micah 6:8). We desire to honor God by practicing the true religion that cares for widows and orphans and those temporarily, legally orphan-like (James 1:27). We want to serve Jesus by serving the least of these (Matthew 25:40).

Recently when being asked why we chose to do foster care the question was phrased like this: “Why are you doing foster care? Is it a calling?”

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you.”

—Matthew 28:19-20a

We are called to foster care because it is evangelism. This doesn’t mean that anyone who isn’t doing foster care and/or adoption isn’t a regenerate soul, but it does mean that foster care and/or adoption is a powerful way to do one of our greatest callings.

On January 28th Phil Newton while speaking at the Bethlehem Pastor’s Conference in Minneapolis used the term “withness”. Our most powerful witness is often withness. He said, and I’m paraphrasing because I don’t have the transcription of his sermon, “The Twelve began to absorb what they heard from Jesus after they observed what they saw of Jesus.” This means that our words are absolutely essential, but discipleship is fueled with rocket fuel by our modeling of the Christian life.

Foster care is evangelism because it displays the glory of God.

Those who believe in Jesus are those that have seen His glory. We are drawn to Jesus when we recognize His immense worth, when we see Him like a treasure hidden in a field (Matthew 13:44). God can show His glory in any way He chooses and one of the chief ways He’s chosen to do that is through the good works of the saints. All good works are to reveal His glory. Our good works are like mirrors reflecting the glory of the Triune God.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden… In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.”

—Matthew 5:14 & 16

When we take children into our homes we reflect the glory of our Great Father who has freely adopted us (Ephesians 1:5). When we work hard to help mothers and fathers get their children back we display the glory of Yahweh who has made us ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:11-21).

Evangelism is often seen as how we help people get into Heaven. It’s the telling of Good News, a.k.a. Gospel. Well, receiving the Gospel is something that happens all at once and every single day. We are justified in the moment we believe and we will be glorified upon the moment of our death or Christ’s return, but the process of our sanctification is one that lasts all during the time in between.

Foster care is self-evangelism.

I say it is self-evangelism because it sanctifies us. It is sanctifying my wife and me in so many ways. For one, we get the joys and sorrows of participating in God’s reconciliatory work. We join in Him in having His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven (Matthew 6:10). It also causes us to rely heavily on His amazing daily grace. Every morning we need a fresh supply of His mercy (Lamentations 3:22-23) and this exercise in trust is most certainly sanctifying us.

So, why are we foster parents? In part, because foster care is evangelism. Every day we pray, and pray hard, for the salvation of this sweet little girl and her mother. Every day we have to strive to have a walk worth imitating. And every morning we need to cling to our Father’s hand for support.

Foster care is evangelism.

If your heart is stirred to make disciples in this way I encourage you to look into it. Foster parents aren’t super-parents, my wife and I certainly aren’t. We, like so many other Christians (and thank God that through His common grace there are non-Christians who care deeply for thousands of children in foster care) are simply people that believe that our God is big enough to help us follow Him. And we know that there is no such thing as a sacrifice for Jesus; He will outdo us mightily and will do the same for you perhaps in the here and now and definitely in eternity to come.

Stewarding the Gift of Sex

 A website I wrote for is folding.  There will be a few posts from that which will be reposted here to keep it from disappearing. The following is one of them:

This is about sex.  This is about a Christian understanding of sex.  Continue reading only if this is a topic with which you’re interested.

First thing you’re likely thinking is, “Okay, what can’t we do now?”

For some reason the subject of sex amongst Christians is merely about what one can do and what one can’t do.  Now, that is a fine and good topic of discussion. Human sexuality and sexual activity is strictly confined to the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman and that runs contrary to the world’s desires and always has.  We must discuss who should have sex and with whom and under what circumstances.

However, isn’t there more to talk about when it comes to sex?

I am a youth leader at my church and have had the honor of talking with students about the subject of sex and much of the discussion is about waiting for marriage and why that glorifies God (certainly not all of our discussion is about this, but this is what is on their minds at that stage of life).  Over the years and even over the last few weeks I’ve gone to weddings of former youth group “kids”. Have we forgone the discussion about what Christian sexuality looks like after the stop sign is gone? Should the dialog about sex end on the wedding day?

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  1 Corinthians 10:31

Sex can glorify God.  Sex must glorify God.

But how?

Celibacy isn’t the only way to glorify God.  Sex is a good gift given to mankind by God Himself and as with all His gifts we are to honor God with it.  I do not and will not pretend to have figured out all the ways that sex glorifies God, but I do want to look at a few.  If you want a more in depth look at this subject the book Sex, Romance and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know by C. J. Mahaney is a good resource.

1. Make Love Humbly

Husbands and wives, do you view sex as something that makes you happy or as a way of pleasing your spouse?  C. S. Lewis famously said, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” When you make love is your mind on them or on yourself?  Now, it is impossible to always think of your spouse and not yourself, but humility in bed should be a goal. In fact, there is great joy, great happiness to be found in focusing on her/him.  And don’t worry, by focusing on them and studying what makes them tick you won’t get left behind.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

2. Outdo One Another

How would your sex life improve if you and your spouse were constantly outdoing one another is showing preference?  How would your marriage improve in all arenas if you both made honoring the other your goal? What does honoring or showing preference in bed look like?  Well, it’s humility mixed with knowledge. It’s not being focused on one’s self but it’s studying and knowing what the other prefers and likes and then going out of your way to do that.  That may be like something you have in your mind right now, or it may be showing them preference by letting them simply sleep because that’s a greater need that night. God is glorified by our marriages when we seek to serve one another zealously.

“… Honor one another above yourself.” Romans 12:10b

3. Just Do It

Celibacy is a fantastic way to glorify God, but not so much in marriage.  Now, there are times in marriage to refrain from sex for a while. Perhaps for medical reasons or for a devoted time of prayer a married couple should refrain from sex, but this is not the norm.  Husbands and wives should make sex a regular part of married life. What is regular? That’s a question the two of you need to answer, but you should have an answer. Sex is meant to be regular in the Christian marriage.  Sex is a semi-frequent activity in a healthy marriage. Lovemaking is a regular reminder of what Christian marriage is. It is a God-given demonstration that the two become one flesh. It is a gift to help married couples stay together and grow together.  It is a reunion, a redoing of an ancient ceremony for the purpose of oneness. It is a tool against the temptation to wreck the oneness God Himself created.

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty (sex) to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

“’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10:7-9

All of our actions can and should bring glory to God.  Sex is no different. How we don’t do it and how we do it brings glory or dishonor to our Creator.  If you are single then honor Jesus by what you don’t do yet. If you are married then honor God with your bedroom (or wherever).  Don’t believe the lie that sex is from Satan; sex is from our Heavenly Father so let’s honor Him with it.

Simple Yet All-Encompassing

 This year I've resolved to read a chapter of the Gospels every day and make at least one observation in my journal.  I will read each Gospel about five times and I expect to be refined by spending a year intimately in the life of Jesus.

I finished the book of Matthew for the first time this year the other day.  As I reflected on the book I felt as though I could offer a brief, insufficient summary of the teachings of Jesus.  I, as any good son of a preacher, came up with three highlights that summarize His teachings.  And as the son of a preacher, I have a bonus point as well.

Jesus' teaching in Matthew can be described as simple yet all-encompassing.

1) The Golden Rule

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12

Simple.  It doesn't get much more simple than this.  This is as simple as the class rule in the first grade, yet it's all-encompassing.  

See, Jesus just taught about asking the Father and trusting that He gives good gifts to His children.  Then, the first word of verse 12 is "So".  Jesus connected the generous nature of the Father to the Golden Rule. That word "So" means that I must measure "do unto others" with what I want my Heavenly Father to do unto me as well as what I want my spouse or co-worker to do unto me.  We often think of the Golden Rule as the just be nice rule.  Jesus is saying to be nice, but He's also saying to be as extravagant and gracious to others as you would have them be extravagant to you.  

2) The Great Commandment

"'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 22:36-40

Jesus uses these two summations of the Law and the Prophets and expects us to use these two rules as the filter through which we view all the precepts of Scripture and how we weigh all our actions.  These two rules are simple and expansive.  There isn't an area of life that wouldn't be improved by asking: "Am I loving God?  Am I loving my neighbor as myself?" 

Simple, yet all-encompassing.  Jesus' answer to the lawyer in this passage is simple, yet so much harder than following scores of laws that don't require me to love.

3) Lose Your Life

"Then Jesus told His disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25

Jesus teaches death as the gateway to life and that death to self must come prior to physical death.  This teaching tells me that the Golden Rule isn't about being fair and equal.  This informs me that loving my neighbor as myself looks more like preferring my neighbor to myself than it does inviting them over for dinner in hopes that they will invite me back.  Christians are to be people that esteem, prefer and honor others even above their fleshy selves (Romans 12:10).

Following Jesus takes at least a denial of oneself and at most fatal, life-giving obedience.

Some will tell me that they don't believe in all that Son of God talk or the resurrection. They'll say that they aren't Christian but they do follow the teachings of Jesus.  To that I reply that I wouldn't do that.  I can't read the Sermon on the Mount and think that Jesus' simple, weighty teaching is something I could follow if He weren't the empowering, risen God that He is.  Jesus' teaching in Matthew is good, simple and demanding.

4) Jesus Can't Just Be Our Teacher

I'd not noticed this until reading Matthew 26 this time around.  At the Passover meal with His disciples Jesus predicted that one of them would betray Him.  Each replied "Is it I, Lord?"  Each, that is, but one.  Judas the betrayer said, "Is it I, Rabbi?"

Matthew subtly demonstrates that Jesus can't just be our rabbi, our teacher.  Jesus must be our Lord, our master.  Judas had an interest in Jesus the professor, but not Jesus the King.  When we come to Jesus' teachings we can't come to them as we would a helpful book.  We can't pick and choose which to implement in our routines and which to ignore or modify.  When we come to the teachings of Jesus we must read them as royal proclamations from our sovereign master.  

I encourage you to read the book of Matthew and read it to see what your Lord has for you today. 

Epiphany: Wise Men & Fools

 Epiphany, the Christian holiday commemorating the visit of the magi or wise men to Jesus, is on Friday the 6th of January.  The story of this visit is found in Matthew chapter 2.  Please take a moment to read this short story.

In this famous story we find three characters that I want to examine: King Herod, the religiously educated and the wise men.  I find, and I think you will find, their reactions to the news of Jesus to be incredible interesting and convicting.

1) King Herod was Angry.

When Herod heard there was a king of the Jews born he was troubled and his unease was contagious to all the people (2:3).  Herod did not want to relinquish his throne, even though he was a mere puppet king.  Herod heard news of another king and acted like Pig the Pug from one of my kid's favorite storybooks.  Some of you may be ready to exonerate the king because wiping out threats to their throne is just some thing kings do.  That's right.  Kings never took kindly to those wanting their job.  But Herod knew he wasn't simply opposing a king.  He was fighting against the Christ, the Messiah, the promised King from the line of David.

"... he inquired of them (religiously educated folks) where the Christ was to be born." Matthew 2:4

Herod understood that it was the Christ that the magi were looking for and he hated the idea of even the prophesied King usurping his rule.  Herod tried trickery and then even the mass murder of infants and toddlers (2:16-18) to keep the Christ from taking his precious puppet throne perched nicely under the rule of Caesar.

See, some people hear about the Lord Jesus and want nothing to do with Him.  They don't want a King because they would be lord of their own lives.  They hate omnipotence infringing upon their supposed sovereignty.

2) The Religiously Educated were Curiously Uncurious.

This group befuddles me.  The king tells them there are wise men searching for the Christ.  With deadly intent and complete seriousness this king demands to know where the Christ was to be born.  The religiously educated then give the correct answer from the words of the prophet Micah: Bethlehem of Judea.

"And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
who will shepherd my people Israel." Matthew 2:6

And what do these religiously educated fools do?  They exit the story!  Can you imagine this?  The people who spend their lives studying the Scriptures, the very Scriptures saturated with God's covenant promise to send an heir of David to rule and reign and save Israel from all oppression and make the world right and good again, these men don't give a darn that the words of the Law and the Prophets might have come to fruition in their lifetime after 400 years of prophetic silence!  They didn't need to be immediate believers, but not one of them is recorded as being curious enough to hitch a ride with these men from the east to investigate.  It's ludicrous. 

See, some people can be full of head knowledge and so full of heart apathy.  Apathy kept them from seeing what angels long to see and the prophets both major and minor would have died to have seen (1 Peter 1:10-12).  Some people could win Bible trivia and lose their soul.  Will you?

3) The Wise Men.

The wise men were full of longing.  These men of uncertain number from the east traveled to Israel.  They had a holy curiosity that made them search out this child.  They had a steadfast conviction that impelled them to journey.  

This irresistible pull led them to the place where the young child was as they followed the star.  Upon the end of their search they "rejoiced exceedingly with great joy" (2:10).  When they saw Jesus they rightly worshipped Him.  They rightly gave the famous gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh.  I don't know if these men, who are seemingly uneducated according to the Scriptures, fully understood what they were doing, but like the sailors with Jonah they quickly got the right idea.

See, when some people's journey ends in front of the Christ there is a right reaction: Joy, worship and homage.  The joy was so much that this awkward phrase "rejoiced exceedingly with great joy" is needed to describe what bubbled out of them after their journey ended at the right place in front of the right person.  When we rightly understand Jesus is King we can't help but experience joy, we can't help but worship and we can't help but want to give the homage we feel He is due.  

How will you react to Jesus the King?  Will the idea of being usurped as the boss of your life enrage you?  Will you know it all but fail to be moved off your butt?  Or will you joyfully worship when you realize a king, the King, has come to rule?

Have you had an epiphany regarding Epiphany?  The epiphany is the revealing of Jesus as King.  Has Christ been revealed to you as King of kings and what is your reaction to that enlightening today?