Ending Your Unsocial Media

 Would an analysis of your online activity prove you a loving person?

I have used this quote in the past and will use it again: "Love... is Christian maturity in action." (Maturity by Sinclair B. Ferguson p. 12).  In 1 Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul says in verse 12 that he moved from childish ways to the ways of a man.  Love is how he did this.

So, I will ask again: would an analysis of your online activity prove you a loving person?  Would an analysis of your social media prove you to be mature or childish?

My dad recently said something to me.  He said, "I think people think I'm mean online when I don't intend to be."  My dad, and many of you, did not grow up online and this is all new. Sarcasm does't translate well.  There's a learning curve for many of us when it comes to being social online.  But some of you are childish and unloving and you mean to do it.  The bottom line is that we all know that we all need to be better in this arena.

So, let's look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and see what it has to teach us about being online.  Paul had no idea his words would instruct Facebook users, but God certainly did.

Love is Patient.

The King James Version says, "love sufereth long".  Do you suffer long online?  How long does it take you before you can't feel an ounce of love for someone because of what they post or don't post?  Love suffers long, it puts up with things patiently.

Love is Kind:

Are you kind online?  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  Mom was right.  Unfortunately, many of the mom's and dad's who said this have a hard time doing it... and the world sees it.

Love does not Envy:

Perhaps you don't say anything bad, but you have that green eyed monster on your shoulder as you look at vacation photos.  Perhaps when the Instagram lives don't match your real life the jealousy festers.  Maybe no one knows it, but you secretly want their wife, their stuff, their job, their life.

Love does not Boast:

Look at me, look at me, look at me.  That's social media in a nutshell.  I'm not saying you should Vaguebook all your problems, but can you have success without posting it?

Love is not Proud:

When you've acted unloving online was it because your pride was hurt?  That's usually what makes me most unloving; the glory of Matt being defamed in front of others.  Can you admit when you're wrong and ask for forgiveness?

Love is not Rude:

Do you have manners online?  Are you snarky or are you polite?  Do you defer to others?  Are you a gentleman or a brute, regardless of whether the person you're replying to is right or wrong?

Love is not Self-Seeking:

When you post something do you feel the urge to check how many likes it gets? (sadly, as soon as I post this I will feel that urge). Is your online presence curated in a way to make much of you?  Do you spend time encouraging others with this amazing tool?

Love is not Easily Angered:

How quick are you to be angry online?  Do you feel every good fight is your fight?  This one is hard because much of the content is designed to engage us through anger.  Angry people stay online longer.  The Twitter mob is on longer than those who are smiling.  Politics is fueled these days by anger and right now much of social media is politics.  How can we be not easily angered online?

Love Keeps no Record of Wrongs:

The internet reminds us of the positives and the negatives.  Many of our "friends'" social media remind us daily of the things that we feel wrong us.  

Love does not Delight in Evil but Rejoices with the Truth:

Are you entertained online by what Jesus would be entertained by?  Or are you entertained and occupied with crap?  Do you delight in seeing what you want to see and reading what you want to hear regardless of whether or not it is true?  How much time do you spend checking on the veracity of what you read and share online?

Love Always Protects:

Do you protect or do you destroy?  The KJV says, "beareth all things".  The Greek word used here means to "cover up" or to "pass over".  Do you pass over the annoyances you see in your fellow church members or do you feel the need to always react?

Love Always Trusts:

Do you assume the worst in others online?  Sadly, we do a book's worth of judging on a paragraph's worth of evidence.  Some people are like I said my dad felt, not as callous as they accidentally come off as online.  Some of us throw away a lifetime's worth of evidence of good when we see a blip of perceived bad online.

Love Always Hopes:

Does your online presence reflect Who is the source of your hope?  Or does it show your hope is in politics?

Love Always Perseveres:

If an audit was done on your online activity would it show an enduring love or a love that snapped?  We must love with courage!  Courage is that place where the virtues are carried over their testing point, to amend a C. S. Lewis quote.  Are you living and broadcasting a courageous, enduring love or a wimpy, temporal, earthly love?

This is not easy.  Love is hard.  We need help to do this.  "We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).  We can't love like 1 Corinthians 13 instructs without help and we'll never do it without engaging wisdom online and in-person.

May your online (and real life) interactions prove you a loving person today.

Count the Cost

I'm a person that prefers dogs over cats, but I was hesitant to get a dog.  My wife had never owned a dog, but had always wanted one.  We have two cats, Charlie and Waldo.  Cats are not as good as dogs, but they are far easier.

So, I said no to getting a dog for years.

It's not that I don't like a dog, but dogs are far more work than cats and I wanted to make sure my wife understood that fact.  Loving a dog isn't enough.  Dogs take commitment.

Several months ago I told my wife, after much persuading, that if a dog needed adopting from Retrieving Freedom I would consider that strongly. Such a dog would be mostly trained but still would be work, and since the kids would really enjoy a dog I would be open to that.  Well, months later a 19 month old yellow lab named Reece became available.  She didn't quite cut it as a service dog but seemed like a wonderful addition to our home.  After meeting her and having a trial stay with us, we adopted Reece.

We love Reece but taking a dog without considering the cost is foolish.

Following Jesus is a little like adopting a dog.  A little.  See, following Jesus requires loving Him and loving Him requires a deep commitment.  'Love' without commitment is simply 'like'.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters... yes, even his own life... he cannot be my disciple.  And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower.  Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?  For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king.  Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.  In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he cannot be my disciple."  Luke 14:26-33

There is a cost to having a dog and there is a cost to being a disciple of Christ.

On my two mile loop I walk with Reece I like to walk through the campus of my alma mater, Wartburg College.  As I walk through that campus I am often flooded with memories.  It's strange how buildings just blocks away can take me back in time.

Recently as I walked through Wartburg with a frozen face I considered all God has done in me since I was a student there.  It was roughly half a lifetime ago that I was there as a student.  In that half a lifetime God has grown me.  I'm more confident in some areas and less arrogant in many others.  I've been blessed with a career that was different from the one I was so sure I'd have when I walked that campus as a mere boy.  I have a beautiful, caring, devoted wife at home.  I am the father of three children that spark so much joy.  I'm more committed to my God.  I'm less a fool.  

God has been faithful to do what He's promised to do and more.  Every cost I have paid is mere chump change when compared to what God has done and will do for and in me.

There is a cost to owning a dog, and there are great benefits.  There are costs to following Jesus, and His benefits are boundless.

Count the cost.  Count the benefits.  Do the math and choose to follow Jesus today.