Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The Battle Against Whining

My son is nine months old and is getting to be a good manipulator.  Joshua has a fake cry.  It's good that he's not a poker player because his bluff is pretty easy to see.  He also has a fake laugh.  He has had these two for quite a while but those haven't bothered us much; in fact, they're kind of cute.

However, he's begun to realize the effectiveness of whining.  Joshua has begun to be a frequent whiner.  For example, he knows that he's not allowed to play with pens.  He'll grab a pen and I or Christine will take it away and he'll whine.  When he whines sometimes we'll hide the pen or distract him with something else but today enough was enough.  Today Joshua got the pen taken away and he whined at his mom to get it back.  I then got up from the couch and decided that this whining is something we need to nip in the bud starting now.  He understands more of what I say than he can say back obviously, so I talked with him about all the toys he had and could play with and how his whining wasn't going to change the circumstance.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow we will need to fight the same battle against his whining but we're going to fight it.  Whining is a behavior that I don't want my son to have as a habit.  We've got to parent intentionally and from a position of authority early or we're going to fall behind and potentially lose in this area of discipline.

Now don't get me wrong, we aren't mean to him.  Joshua is showered with toys and hugs and kisses and praise for good behavior.  We know he is just a baby but he's going to be parented by us, he's going to be raised not simply grown.

See, I take the pens away from him because I don't want him to jab one down his throat or stab himself when the point comes out.  I'm willing to fight the battle against whining because I don't want him to be like other whiny children I've seen that become whiny adults.  We make it our job as parents to raise our son with love and discipline because he is so important to us.

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.'

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.  For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.  How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!  Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:5b-11

Being a father has helped teach me about my Heavenly Father.  Today as I tried to correct a behavior in my son I didn't do it because I enjoy giving him a hard time.  If I was looking to do things the easy way I would appease every whine Joshua has, but I'm not looking for easy, I'm raising a little boy who will raise my grandchildren someday.

As I look in the mirror today I ask: Am I whining at God and missing His good?  Am I begging for something harmful when my Heavenly Father knows it will hurt me?  Am I stuck in an infant behavior pattern when my Father is trying to mold me into a man who raises men? 

Today I needed to look in the mirror and the battle against whining is helping me do that.  As I work hard to raise my son I want to think about what God is doing to raise me, to sanctify me and I want to not push against that but instead accept that as a grace from my Father in Heaven today.




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