Before Joshua was born I was terrified about being a father. I had very little confidence in what I could do in that realm. I'll be honest, babies are nice but I'd never volunteered to change a diaper and, in fact, I managed to avoid all but one in my life before Joshua came. I like babies but I'm not one for drool, pacifiers, general messiness or much babies do other than smile and sleep. But when Joshua came I found fatherhood to be much more natural to me in many aspects than I feared.
Having been a father to a baby outside of a woman's body for two months now I know a few things for sure. I know I love him so much and I know he needs a better father.
I'm much more confident in being a father now than I was two months ago and I'm much more keenly aware of how short I fall in providing what my son needs most. My son needs God to be his father.
"He will not let your foot slip,
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 121:3-4
Me. I sleep. I need to sleep. I can't function without sleep. In fact, I have not written on this blog in seventeen days, when I've written at least weekly for about seven years, because I've chosen sleep over writing. Meanwhile, while Joshua sleeps God works. While I sleep God works. He never sleeps nor slumbers nor does He grow weary.
"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom." Isaiah 40:28
"The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love." Psalm 103:8
I'm not always compassionate or patient... especially when I'm tired. While I am so lacking in the traits above, God is perfectly all of them.
One day Joshua will think I'm the strongest man in the world... and he'll be very wrong. I'll rarely be the strongest guy in a room, let alone the world. Now, while my strength is very limited God's is unlimited.
"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17
All that I am on my best days as a father God has me beat. My efforts and skills may grow but God's infinite nature will always outdo my best and for that I'm thankful.
I'm thankful that God has entrusted me to care for my little boy. I'm glad that I get to father this precious boy, but I pray every day that Joshua gets a better father than me. He needs God to be his father. Not that that excludes me, but I pray daily that Joshua has God as his father.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1a
If Christ is your savior then God is your father, so celebrate that. And if you have children, cherish them and pray that God be their father today.
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