Papa's Passing

 Sunday morning at 4:51 my Papa died at age 85.

I'm sure that at 4:51 Eastern Daylight Saving Time my Papa heard, "Well done good and faithful servant.  Come enter your Master's happiness." (Matthew 25:21).

How do you put into words the life of a good man?  How do you express to others all that he meant and all that he was?  I'm confident that I cannot meet the task, but I do want to say a few things.

Papa was a grandPARENT.  After we moved back to Iowa when I was in 6th grade I rode the bus to his acreage nearly every day.  He and Mimi took care of my brother, sister and I.  They fed us, helped us with homework and let us treat their home as our home.  They not only took care of us, but they also had foster-children.  They had as many as five at one time, if I remember correctly.  Three of them became my cousins.  So, my grandparents took care of a number of kids each day after school and fed a small army at supper as even my dad would stay after they reassured him that he couldn't be divorced from the family.

It's not often you get to watch your grandparents parent.  But I watched my Papa have a sternness when necessary and gentleness as his default mode.  It was rare to hear him raise his voice but the maybe 5'8" man seemed a great bear to us kids on the rare occasion he needed to.  I remember the first time I watched him parent.  I had not moved back to Iowa but was spending time with them and one of their many favorite foster-children at Hardee's.  The tween boy had a meltdown in the car and I watched how my Papa responded.  Little did I know I would steal that move about 23 years later with my own foster-son.

My Papa was a rock of peace in a sea of chaos.  There's no shortage of drama at times in the family and I can't recall a time when Papa was the source of it.  He was always so reasonable, as I saw it.  He was someone no one could have a quarrel with.  

Papa served his little, country church.  For years in his office he balanced the church checkbook.  He was always the one cheerleading the family out the door to get to service on time.  I enjoyed going to Wednesday night prayer meetings alongside him when I got the chance.  Papa was a faithful churchman.

The cousins might be surprised by this, but I think Papa tricked us all.  "His hair was never to be touched.  No one got to mess with his hair and the contents of his breast pocket protector but me." That's the sentence we all say.  Somehow a score of us probably all believe that he had a soft spot for us and only we got to touch that immaculate hair of his as a young child.  I'm pretty sure we all did and that Papa just loved babies, especially his many grand and great-grandchildren.

From mindless games of Trouble to rides on the lawnmower or tractor, he gave us fun memories as kids.  We all learned that someone can be awoken by the turning of the channel from the news.  We all learned a little about putting hay in the barn.  We all knew that Papa had a special love for us.

And boy was he funny.  I always loved when my Uncle Brad would come.  Brad could get Papa laughing so hard.  I loved Thanksgivings with Uncle Brad because I knew Papa would belt that rich laugh as he enjoyed his son's clowning.  I'm glad those two are back together.  I hope there are those kind of tears in Heaven from rehearsing of old Tim Conway bits.

Papa instilled some great qualities in me as he was not only was my grandpa but helped raise me in some of my most important years.  When the chaos of divorce entered my young life, my Papa was a steady rock of a man.  He's the only one of my grandparents to see my children.  I'm glad that all three of my kids were placed in his lap.  

There are no goodbyes for Christians; only see you laters.  I have more thoughts coming about him but will save those for myself.  That's the beauty of a memory.  So, for now I say, "See you later" and I'll miss you today.

When God Feels Small

 I have too low of a view of God.

That said, I don't think I will ever lift my view of God as high as I should.  I will always fall short of the infinite heights of His glory, but I often have a lower view of God than I had a week prior.  Meaning, I exalt God in my mind's eye and then days or minutes later shrink God again.

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."

-A.W. Tozer The Knowledge of the Holy

If you're like me, you also need to have more appropriate thoughts about God.  If you're like me, you would live entirely more holy if you more rightly thought of God.  If you're like me, you would have a deeper appreciation of your salvation and adoption if you had a more accurate understanding of our Father who art in Heaven.

There isn't a sin or an anxiety that can't be traced back to a low view of God.  

So, how can we lift our view of God?  How can we magnify Him like a telescope that take gargantuan figures and makes them look a little more like the size they are? 

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Genesis 1:1

This opening verse of the Bible is what has helped me lift my view of God recently.  Let me show you three ways that my view of God has been exalted in through this one verse.

1) The entire Bible is about God.

The Bible is, primarily, the means God has used to specially reveal Himself to us.  The Bible certainly helps us live better lives, but it is first and foremost about God.  "In the beginning God..." This verse sets up the main character of Scripture.  This opening verse reminded me that I need to look for who God says He is in His Word.  I often read the Bible utilitarianly.  I read it to get something of use out of it; but it's first about who my God is.  Will the knowledge of God prove useful?  Yes, the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight (Proverbs 9:10).  But my eyes must be looking outward and upward rather than simply inward when I read the whole Bible.

2) God is without beginning.

"In the beginning God..." At the beginning of what?  All things.  Meaning that before ALL things began God was there.  God is eternal in both directions.  After we have lived for an eternity (if that were possible) God would still be an eternity older than we are.  If you just breezed by that sentence, turn back and slowly read it again and give it a thought.  God is eternally older than all.  God has always been and will always be.  My little brain can sort of begin to grasp an eternal thing one way, but my brain starts to hurt when I try to make eternity a two way street.  If this fails to lift your view of God, I'm at a loss for what will.

3) God created the heavens and the earth.

Look at your children and think about how they started as one cell.  Think about how one cell became all you see in them.  That once one cell can now ask you a ton of questions.  Isn't that wild?  Or think about the complexity of the human eye.  God designed it and holds it together.  

It's Fall.  So, take a look at the beauty of this season.  Walk out in nature and let its beauty guide your mind to wonder at the One who created it all.  Isn't it amazing that the first thing God wanted us to know about Him is that He created the universe?  The first thing He wants us to do is look at all that we're surrounded by, heck, all that. we are, and wonder at how marvelous His creation is.  Let the orange, yellow and reds of the trees make you smile.  Let the videos of Hurricane Ian's destructive power fill you with fear.  Let the flying bird make you wonder.

We all need our view of God lifted.  We need to be enraptured by the scope and majesty and wisdom of our infinitely glorious God.  Take time now to spend five minutes thinking about one or two things that will take your view of God up the mental escalator.  Magnify God like a telescope to see Him a little more like He truly is today.

The Oldest Trick in the Book

 Do you ever feel that God is holding out on you?

I spoke recently with someone that has a desire to do something implicitly contrary to the Word of God.  When I told him that the thing he desired was in direct opposition to the will of God he didn't seem too phased.  

"I'll just do my thing and then when I'm ready to settle down I'll do it that way.  I just feel if I do it that way I will be stuck and will miss out on something better."

What this person verbalized was that he was falling for the oldest trick in the book, quite literally.

"But the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'" Genesis 3:4

You probably know the rest of the story.  Eve ate the fruit.  Adam ate the fruit.  Sin entered the world and is still here.

"God is holding out on you."

The first lie told is still being told today.  

Don't fall for the oldest trick in the book.  I, on the basis of the Word of God, can tell you that God has not withheld any good thing.  The Triune God loves to lavish good gifts on His children.  He is not a serpent giving father (Matthew 7:9).  Our God gives good gifts.  Our God gave us Jesus.  If He did not spare His own Son why would you believe that He is holding out on you? No, my God is not holding out but is freely giving all good and perfect gifts (Romans 8:32).

When we believe the old lie we miss out on God's goodness.  Father knows best.  The irony is that in seeking the "greater" things we miss out on the greatest.  

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33).

The moments we fall for the oldest trick in the book are the moments we disparage the name of God.  See, in these moments we proclaim God to be a dead-beat dad.  In these moments of selfishness we act as though God was the selfish one. In these moments of faithlessness we proclaim to the world and ourselves that the Faithful God is not to be fully trusted.  Every sinful FOMO moment is spiritual slander.

Do you trust God or not?  Well, do you?  Do I?  

Don't fall for the oldest trick in the book today.

Our 9th Anniversary

 Nine short years ago I pledged myself to Christine in marriage.  These nine years have gone so fast and yet I can hardly remember or imagine life prior to having my beautiful wife by my side.  A lot has changed but my commitment to her and her commitment to me has not.  

Below is non-exhaustive, non-ordered list of nine reasons I love being married to Christine Ray.

 

1) She is a Constant Friend

When we were about to be married we longed to say "goodnight" instead of "goodbye".  I wanted so badly to roll over instead of roll away in a vehicle when our day was over.  I have that now.  My friend is with me in a constant sleep-over.

2) She is a Ministry Partner

There are many things I could do in ministry and service while single that I can't do as a husband and father.  There are many advantages to being single (1 Corinthians 7).  That said, my wife is a ministry partner in ministries we couldn't do well while single.  We've provided stability and love to children in foster care, for example.  I couldn't do and wouldn't do that alone.

3) She Birthed Me Children

Children are a heritage and reward from the LORD (Psalm 127:3).  I wouldn't have my children without her.  Watching her grow, birth and raise children is so beautiful.  I can go on and on about this.

 

4) She is My Lover

Whoever created the lie that single people have all the "fun" was seriously pulling your leg.  In Christine I have someone that I am mad about and she is mad about me.  In the interest of keeping faces from becoming red I won't go on, but I am a blessed man.

5) She is My Sounding Board

If you know me, you know I think aloud.  If you know me, you know that dumb thoughts can come out in this process.  I have worked over the years to put a filter over my mouth, but I need that sounding board that allows for the dumb without judgment.  Christine is that.  She refines my thoughts for public consumption and also hears my complaints that never make it to the public square.  I might explode without her.

6) She Supports My Broadcasting Habit

I'm a junky.  I love broadcasting shows and sports.  I could have jobs that pay better, but I don't know a career that I could love more.  Christine supports my career in spite of the long, weird hours that don't always add up to the pay other long, weird hours could provide.  She wants me to do what I love for a living and keeps the kids alive and the house standing while I do it.

 

7) She is My Encourager

I have many down days.  I have days when I feel like what I do with the church, at my job and for my kids doesn't make a difference.  Christine has countered those days with encouragement.  She often thinks more of me than I do.

8) She Helps Me Live Longer

Before Christine I was on route to die of McDonald's poisoning.  I had not been to a dentist or a doctor in all my single years.  Married men live longer because of women like Christine.  Seriously, I didn't buy vegetables before I was married unless it came with the sub sandwich I bought.

9) She is a Blessing from God

It's been said that the grace of God isn't a thing but rather the radiance of the Trinity Himself shining on our lives.  Christine is a means of grace in my life.  Her face shines the grace of God on me.  She offers me forgiveness daily.  She is good to me when I am less than I should be for her and to her.  She is an absolute blessing to me.  When I found her I found a good thing and obtained favor from the LORD (Proverbs 18:22).

Our 9th anniversary isn't being celebrated with a wonderful trip and I didn't order fireworks to be shot as we dine tonight.  Despite the lack of fanfare, Christine, I hope you realize that I love being married to you today.

Am I a Gentle Man or a Culture Warrior?

The so-called Culture Wars are in full rage all around us.  There have been many "battles" in this war in recent days, months and years.  From legal abortion access to gender and sex classifications to how we read and interpret history the battles have been raging.

I've had a few people ask if I would write on this blog about a few of these topics.  I'm not necessarily against addressing these things in public writing.  To be completely honest, a one, three, five and seventeen year-old have been taking shifts keeping me from my writing and baseball doubleheaders and pure uninspired laziness have been their allies.

My conscience or the Holy Spirit (hard to tell between the two at times) responded to the most recent question with a question of its/His own: Is a desire to and a skill in engaging a cultural battle a most defining quality that people see in me?

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

Fairly recently my church encouraged us all to read Dane Ortlund's Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers (highly recommend).  Ortlund used the above verse, in the style of the classic Puritan writers, as the basis for the entire book.  He says, as Charles Spurgeon before him, that this is the only place in the Gospels where Jesus tells us about His own heart.

Jesus is gentle and lowly in heart.
Am I?

This post isn't designed to plumb the depths of Christ's heart, Dane Ortlund's book is a much better, accessible route to that end.  I just want to know if I am gentle and lowly in heart and if I can be that in a way so as people see that over witty and jagged in pen or tongue.

Again, there is most certainly a place for sharp wit and the demolishing of arguments (2 Corinthians 10:5), but is my trademark quality the very quality of heart that Jesus Himself says is His?

1 Timothy 3:3 says that an elder or overseer must be gentle.  Am I gentle?  

Now, you might be thinking, "Yes, gentleness is important but we also must be strong and courageous."

You're right.  Be strong, play the man, be courageous: these phrases take up much ink in Scripture.  Yet, when Christ, who is the strongest, most courageous man, wanted to tell us about Himself He chose gentle and lowly.

My son is bigger than his 3 year-old and 14 month old siblings.  I often talk to him about being a gentleman.  I tell him that because he is strong he must be gentle.  Because he can overpower he must be especially self-controlled.  That's what a gentleman is: Strength under gentle control.

Brothers and sisters, we have much strength and therefore must exercise and exhibit much more gentleness.  We don't need to enter so-called culture wars from a position of weakness.  We must realize that the strength afforded us must be accompanied by gentleness.  AND if Jesus can be lowly in heart when He always was right then how much more can we when we are far from always right?  

I am not as gentle and lowly in heart as I need to be.  I want to be a man marked by gentleness.  I want to be a gentleman like Jesus.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:12-14

Pursue genuine, Christ-like gentleness in our corse world today.

The Joys of Fatherhood

Fatherhood is important.  Fathers are important.  

There's an epidemic of absent fathers in our nation.  There are fathers not present due to abandonment, incarceration, non-awareness of the existence of their children, premature death and a host of other factors.  Our children need fathers and there are stats upon stats from places like the CDC to the National Fatherhood Initiative to back that up. 

(National Center for Fathering)

I'm not sure why males need to be sold on fatherhood, but it seems we should be selling fatherhood to them.  So many times when fatherhood is pitched it is sold via the responsibility.  For instance, in our churches moms get flowers on Mothers' Day and dads get a lecture on Fathers' Day.  

An apple may keep the doctor away, but I'm more likely to bite it if you tell me it is crisp and sweet.

Fatherhood is sweet.

The joys of fatherhood are bountiful.  Yes, there is much responsibility, but there are more joys.  Being a father is one of the most rewarding endeavors of my life thus far.  I love being a dad.

I love hearing my kids say, "Daddy, I love you."  I love watching them grow and mature and seeing the fruit of my labor.  I love their cuddles.  I love that my young ones think I'm strong as Superman.  I love that my teen copies what I do even if he wouldn't ask for advice.  

Men, we need more present fathers.  But men, we also need more enthusiastic fathers.  We need the men who love being fathers to be vocal about the joys of fatherhood.  Yes, an apple can keep a doctor away but it's also great in a pie.  

This Sunday is Fathers' Day.  This Sunday let's remember how our Heavenly Father delights in His being our Father.  This Sunday let us celebrate the goodness of the men that wear the title of Dad well.  This Sunday share the joys of fatherhood.  In fact, tell me some of the joys of fatherhood you love most today.

The Screams of the Parents

 When I was in my college men's choir we sang "The Prayer of the Children".

Since the unthinkable tragedy, the massacre of children at Robb Elementary I have thought often of the screams of the parents.  Parents stood outside of the school hearing gun shots and seeing inaction.  I've been haunted by the thoughts of their screams, knowing they like me would rather have a body full of bullets than let their children be in that hellish building one more minute.

I can hardly imagine their blood curdling screams for help or the opportunity to help.  My blood runs cold and my heart aches when the thought of their predicament enters my mind.  I was especially struck by this pointless massacre because my little boy just graduated from preschool and is thrilled to be going to elementary in the Fall.  I, without trying, begin to wonder what I might do and what I might say and what I might pray and what I might feel.

At the risk of making their pain into my story, let me tell you what I thought about and have continued to think about since last Sunday.

How would my prayer life change if I prayed for my children's souls the way those parents pleaded for their children on that horrific day?

Without the salvation of Jesus my children are doomed.  No, my May 24, 2022 looked nothing like the parents in Ulvade's and I hope I never have a day like theirs (and I pray something is done to prevent another day like that).  My days in May were normal.  My children's days seemed normal.  Yet, I know they aren't.

Every day the Enemy prowls like a lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).  Satan wants my children.  My children need Jesus and my children's unbridled self wants nothing to do with Him.  If they are not specifically called they will not come and the devil will dine.

One of the most terrifying thoughts as a parent is that I could do everything right and still not have my deepest desire met.  I think of men like Pastor John Piper who have a radically unbelieving son and I imagine poor Christian education in the home wasn't the primary reason for that.  I think of how the thing I want most for my kids is the very thing I can't guarantee they get.  I can bring these horses to water but I can't make them drink.

Long story short, the screams of the parents in Uvalde reminded me that I need to pray for my children with far more tenacity and urgency than I do most days.  How would I pray if my eyes could see the spiritual battle raging around my kids' minds and hearts?  Would I not scream for their Helper?  Would I not appeal to their Defender?

What I most want for my kids is that they come to a persisting, saving faith early in life and that I would see with my own two eyes their baptism.  And my most greedy prayer is that I would baptize them all myself.  God, help me pray for that with fervor and urgency.  You reading, would you pray for me to have endurance in this most important request and would you pray right now my prayer for my children.  Would you remember to pray for unsaved souls with urgency? And finally, would you prayer for these devastated parents today?