Advent: Mary

 This Advent I am taking a closer look at four characters in the Christmas story.

You're pregnant.

Those two words will change your life forever.  If you've ever heard these words you remember what you were feelings.  If you've ever seen that stick with a dark line and a faint, yet life-altering, line you know what the knowledge of those words can mean: fear, excitement, anxiety, hope, anticipation, planning.

When you found out you were pregnant it came after sex or IUI or something like that, but Mary had the most surprising "You're pregnant" of all time from the angel Gabriel.

"Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!"  But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.  And the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call His name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.  And the Lord God will give to Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end." Luke 1:28-33

Now for the million dollar question.

"And Mary said to the angel, 'How will this be, since I am a virgin?" Luke 1:34

Gabriel went on to tell her that the Holy Spirit and the power of the Most High will overshadow her and cause this to happen (Note the Father and Spirit begetting the Son).  He also said that Mary's elderly cousin Elizabeth is six months pregnant with a son.  

Mary responded to this life altering news in a wonderful way:

"Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." Luke 1:38

Think about what Mary was finding out.  She, an unmarried virgin, was pregnant.  God had chosen her for the awesome task of carrying, birthing and raising the Son of God.  Yet Mary was in for the shame of people thinking she was a loose woman, she was to bear the taunts of people calling her son a bastard.  She was to live a life with a story few could ever believe.

Following Mary's encounter with the angel Gabriel there was nothing else God needed to do for Mary to confirm her role in the Christmas story.  Yet our gracious God did give her further confirmation.

Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth as quickly as she could to see the miracle that Gabriel had told her had happened.  As soon as Mary entered she didn't have to tell her story, she didn't need to ask Elizabeth's story.  No, God graciously gave Mary more confirmation than she needed.

"And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb.  And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, 'Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!  And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.  And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." Luke 1:41-45

At hearing this prophesy of the mother of the greatest prophet, Mary was filled with joy.  God graciously gave Mary the glimpse into His plan that she needed to carry on.  Mary then burst into a song that mirrors that of Hannah in 1 Samuel (you can read this in Luke 1:46-55).

Mary was given a wonderful and hard job.  

You're pregnant.

Those two words changed Mary's life.  They gave her the most blessed title a woman could have, mother of Jesus.  They also gave her a future that included pain like a sword through her soul (Luke 2:35).

The announcement of Mary's pregnancy was the announcement that God was coming down to us.  Emmanuel was embryonic.  The Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14) and that process began right after Gabriel's very early gender reveal party for Mary when he told her she would have the Son that would save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21).

Think today at how the surprising pregnancy announcement changed Mary's life.  Consider how our gracious God gave her strength to perform her task.  Most of all, ponder what the incarnation of Christ means for you today.

Christmas Letter- 2023

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Rays.

We hope your 2022 was one that left you with memories and growth, like ours did.

This Summer we did a vacation filled with day trips to places in Iowa.  We went to Adventureland, our county fair, explored a beautiful park in Decorah with a stunning waterfall, went mini-golfing, took the kids to the science museum in Waterloo, visited Dubuque and saw the Mississippi River Museum, the Fenelon Place Elevator and went deep into a spectacular cave.  

This year we also got to host Thanksgiving for the first time.  We had family and friends from Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota and Australia pack our house for the big dinner.  Then our Iowa, Minnesota and Australian family was able to stay at a cool B&B inside their dairy barn.  It was great and especially great to watch the kids play with their cousins from Down Under.

"Big J" will be 18 on Christmas Eve and soon hopefully we won't have to refer to him as "Big J" online.  He continues to work at Walmart, is nearly done with school.  He, like so many other 18 year-olds, is trying to figure out what's next.  Pray for him to have wisdom and direction in the many big choices he has soon.

Joshua turned 5 in May and started kindergarten in the Fall.  He reads everything he sees.  This Summer he played T-ball and loved being part of a team and making friends.  Joshua also got to move beyond the parent-and-me to solo swimming lessons.

Anna turned 3 in February and started preschool in the Fall.  She goes Monday, Wednesday and Friday and loves that she has progressed beyond toddler to preschooler.  She also took tumbling classes and swimming lessons. 

Gideon is 19 months now.  He is running everywhere chasing his big siblings.  Right now he seems to gain new words every day.  2022 was a big year of growth for Gideon.

Christine continues to work very part-time (about once a week) at the walk-in clinic.  She has gotten involved in the local Bible Study Fellowship this year and is enjoying it.

Matt is still the morning show host and play-by-play broadcaster at KWAY radio.  He's been there for over 13 and a half years.  He continues to be involved in leading the youth group at church.

2022 was a wonderful year for the Rays.  God has been faithful and good to us.  He gave us Jesus 2,000 years ago and continued to give us Jesus and 2022 and we know we have more Jesus coming in 2023.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Rays!

(Legally can't show "J"'s face)

Advent: The Animals

 This Advent I am taking a closer look at four characters in the Christmas story.

My five year-old son was asked what the animals thought on that first Christmas.  He said, "What is this baby doing in my food!"

We can't know what, if anything, the animals thought on that first Christmas, but God gave us an imagination so let's use it today.  Let's make believe that God gave the animals in the stable, cave, courtyard of the home, or wherever they were a mind and mouth like Balaam's donkey.  What might they have wondered and said.

I think, if that were the case, they might have a wonderful perspective.  Think of the way they might have cheered on young Mary in those agonizing hours of labor.  Wonder at what they might have thought when a baby was placed into their feeding trough.  Perhaps Joshua was right.  Maybe they exclaimed, "What is this baby doing in my food!"

Now, imagine God gave these fortunate creatures the ability to hear what the shepherds said as they came in from the fields and into the place where this baby was laid.  The animals may have heard words like 'Christ the Lord' being uttered by these men who claimed to have been visited by a host of angels (Luke 2:9-14).  Then imagine their shock when the young mother, who claimed to be a virgin, told the herdsmen that she also had been visited by an angel that told her that she would have a son that would be called the Son of the Most High and the Lord God would give this baby the throne of His father David and that He would reign forever (Luke 1:32-33).  And what's more the father said that he too was visited by an angel who told him that Mary's baby would save His people from their sins and would be God in flesh on the earth (Matthew 1:20-23).

The animals, in this supposed situation, would have jaws sagging and straw falling out of their mouths.  Could it be?  Could salvation be coming?  Could our Maker be lying in our food?

See, the Good News is about more than sinners going to Heaven.  The redemption of the entire cosmos was inaugurated at the conception of Jesus.

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now." Romans 8:19-22

In those hours of painful childbirth, perhaps, the animals were reminded of their groaning in the dog-eat-dog cosmos to which they'd been subjected.  

Those animals saw the inauguration of the redemption of the whole creation and yet they died or were slaughtered before they saw the fulness of what was brought forth that Christmas day.  

Be like these animals.  Know that Jesus has come and that He will come again.  Christmas announces that God is doing something wonderful and urges us to eagerly look forward to its completion when:

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together;
and a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze;
their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra,
and the weaned child shall put his hand in the adder's den.
They shall not hurt or destroy
in all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD
as the waters cover the sea." Isaiah 11:6-9

This Advent look forward to the cosmos-wide fruition of the Gospel.  Remember what the animals might have seen and heard today.

Advent: Shepherds

This Advent I am taking a closer look at four of the characters in the Christmas story. 

I didn't appreciate what I had when we lived out in the country.  

As a young boy living in rural Missouri I had the night sky.  It wasn't until I moved into town as a man and then spent Summer nights in southwest Iowa looking up at the glorious black speckled with countless stars that I realized what I should have cherished.

Imagine how dark the night was in ancient Israel.  No electric lights, just dark sky and billions of stars.

This is the night sky that the shepherds experience that first Christmas.  That is until the glory of the Lord shone around them (Luke 2:9).  

God's glory was not just the bright light in the dark night, but it was the announcement of good news (read that Gospel) of great joy that will be for all the people.  That night God announced the fulfillment of Isaiah chapter 9 to men working a menial job, and the night shift of that job.  God revealed His most glorious good news to shepherds on a dark night.

See this through these parallel passages:

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone." Isaiah 9:2
"And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them..." Luke 2:8-9

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore.  The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this." Isaiah 9:6-7 

"For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult and every garment rolled in blood will be burned as fuel for the fire." Isaiah 9:5
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased." Luke 2:14

The shepherds, those who were not the cream of the crop of society, were told the prophet Isaiah's words have been verified, go see it!  So, they just ran (read like old lady on the bench in Forest Gump).  They went and saw the baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.  They saw and believed.  

The shepherds in the story went from the darkness to light, just like we go from the dominion of darkness into the kingdom of the light (Colossians 1:13).  They went from lowly shepherds with a distinct smell to understanding and believing what the religious elite would fail to grasp and love.

Who are the shepherds in your life?  Who are the people that you might overlook and fail to share the good news with?  Proclaim the Gospel and enlighten the darkness with the news that what God promised long ago came true and what He has promised and we wait for will certainly occur.  

God has good news of great joy for you today.

Advent: Joseph

This Advent I want to take a closer, and perhaps imaginative look, at four characters from the Christmas story.

Am I enough?

As a foster-father I have been tasked with raising another person's child, but I still can't imagine being Joseph.  Sadly, the fathers I am asked to step in for are not ideal fathers.  I'm keenly aware that I can't be the same as any child's biological father except my own, but I have never been kept awake at night wondering if I'm as good a father as one of my foster-kid's biological fathers.  

Joseph must have had many sleepless nights wondering if he could ever be close to enough because his son's father was the Father of Lights.  Joseph made chairs, Jesus' real Father made galaxies.  Joseph put food on the table, Jesus' real Father put air in the lungs of all living things.  Joseph was poor enough to need to sacrifice birds instead of a lamb (Leviticus 5:7, Luke 2:24), Jesus' Father owned the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10).

I think most men struggle with the question: Am I enough?

Joseph is a man like I am and I can only imagine he asked himself this question, prayed this question and cried this question to Mary who echoed the same question while also trying to reassure her dear husband that he was indeed enough for her and the Word of life.

God chose Joseph to be the earthly father to His only begotten Son.  Now, God didn't choose him because he was perfect or because of his immense worth.  God has yet to choose a person because they were great, but rather because He is great in and through them.

But let's look at what good thing we can see in Joseph.

He was an ordinary, righteous man with extraordinary obedience.

Joseph was a righteous man and when he found out that Mary was pregnant he decided to not shame her, but to end their engagement quietly.  He could have had her killed for cheating, but he didn't. Then when the angel told him the truth about the origins of this baby, Joseph embraced the shame he didn't want to give Mary.  Joseph was obedient from the moment he woke from his dreamy encounter with the angel.  

Later, when Joseph was told in another dream to take his new wife and son and flee, he did.  Joseph accepted the life a foreigner and outsider until another dream prompted him to return and restart his life in Nazareth.  As we read the first few chapters of Matthew we see Joseph doing nothing but listening and obeying.

Joseph should give great hope to all men (and women) who wonder if they are enough.  The life of Joseph is not given much glitz and glamor.  As I read about Joseph and imagine his life I'm struck by the value of the ordinary people with extraordinary obedience who strive to live a righteous life.  Joseph never found fame or fortune but this ordinary man's righteousness and obedience sent shockwaves of saving glory through time and space.  

If you are willing to obey God and strive for righteousness, you are enough.

This Advent think about the forgotten character Joseph and what we might find in this seemingly ordinary man who was thrust into an altogether, cosmically wild situation.  See the value of ordinary, righteous living today.

Election Day Peace

 Anxious and Angry people must be more likely to vote.

Election Day is Tuesday, November 8th and once again we've been told that it's the most important election of our lifetimes.  Now, I believe it is an awesome privilege to be able to vote.  Most human beings have not had a whiff of anything as powerful as a vote in the say of what happens to them and their neighbors.  I'm glad God had me born in a time and place where I can voice my opinion with a ballot.  And there are a host of major issues at stake in this election.  We have issues like inflation, abortion, student debt, gun laws, and more that will be influenced by Tuesday's results.  What party will control the House, the Senate, who will be your county treasurer, does the election become a national referendum on an issue or issues?

Please, educate yourself and vote.

But for the love of God please stop acting as though God isn't God.

Anxious and Angry people not only vote, but they drive ratings.  Many are in the business of stoking anger and anxiety in order to keep your attention long enough to sell fabric softener, beer and over the counter meds to cure the headache the show you watched just caused.  

I have been increasingly convinced that though some people really do enjoy politics and learning about and discussing politics, there are more that enHate than enJoy.  Many people in Iowa get stressed over elections in Texas, California and Georgia that they have no power to affect.  Many people give away such peace for absolutely no return.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with knowing national news.  There's nothing wrong with understanding the times.  But there is something wrong with how most of us go about it.  Most of us live Chicken Little lives in response to the news.  Most of us see a sky that is falling and don't see the God that is reigning.

This week I have been preparing to teach the youth about the sovereignty of God.  God's sovereignty is exactly why I have a peace that passes all understanding.

Today I was worried about something non-election (yes, that's a thing even on election eve).  As I thought about my worry and I thought about the sovereignty of God I did an exercise:  

I breathed in and out deeply while meditating on a phrase.  "God is my Father and He is sovereign."'  Breath.  "God is my Father and He is sovereign."  Breath.  "God is my Father and He is sovereign." Breath.  "God is my Father and He is sovereign."

Oh, what peace filled my mind as I stood waiting for my son to exit the school building.  Those few moments of deep breaths while focusing my mind on a truth of God gave me rest.  I invite you to try that today.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.  The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is lovely, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me____ practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9

Papa's Passing

 Sunday morning at 4:51 my Papa died at age 85.

I'm sure that at 4:51 Eastern Daylight Saving Time my Papa heard, "Well done good and faithful servant.  Come enter your Master's happiness." (Matthew 25:21).

How do you put into words the life of a good man?  How do you express to others all that he meant and all that he was?  I'm confident that I cannot meet the task, but I do want to say a few things.

Papa was a grandPARENT.  After we moved back to Iowa when I was in 6th grade I rode the bus to his acreage nearly every day.  He and Mimi took care of my brother, sister and I.  They fed us, helped us with homework and let us treat their home as our home.  They not only took care of us, but they also had foster-children.  They had as many as five at one time, if I remember correctly.  Three of them became my cousins.  So, my grandparents took care of a number of kids each day after school and fed a small army at supper as even my dad would stay after they reassured him that he couldn't be divorced from the family.

It's not often you get to watch your grandparents parent.  But I watched my Papa have a sternness when necessary and gentleness as his default mode.  It was rare to hear him raise his voice but the maybe 5'8" man seemed a great bear to us kids on the rare occasion he needed to.  I remember the first time I watched him parent.  I had not moved back to Iowa but was spending time with them and one of their many favorite foster-children at Hardee's.  The tween boy had a meltdown in the car and I watched how my Papa responded.  Little did I know I would steal that move about 23 years later with my own foster-son.

My Papa was a rock of peace in a sea of chaos.  There's no shortage of drama at times in the family and I can't recall a time when Papa was the source of it.  He was always so reasonable, as I saw it.  He was someone no one could have a quarrel with.  

Papa served his little, country church.  For years in his office he balanced the church checkbook.  He was always the one cheerleading the family out the door to get to service on time.  I enjoyed going to Wednesday night prayer meetings alongside him when I got the chance.  Papa was a faithful churchman.

The cousins might be surprised by this, but I think Papa tricked us all.  "His hair was never to be touched.  No one got to mess with his hair and the contents of his breast pocket protector but me." That's the sentence we all say.  Somehow a score of us probably all believe that he had a soft spot for us and only we got to touch that immaculate hair of his as a young child.  I'm pretty sure we all did and that Papa just loved babies, especially his many grand and great-grandchildren.

From mindless games of Trouble to rides on the lawnmower or tractor, he gave us fun memories as kids.  We all learned that someone can be awoken by the turning of the channel from the news.  We all learned a little about putting hay in the barn.  We all knew that Papa had a special love for us.

And boy was he funny.  I always loved when my Uncle Brad would come.  Brad could get Papa laughing so hard.  I loved Thanksgivings with Uncle Brad because I knew Papa would belt that rich laugh as he enjoyed his son's clowning.  I'm glad those two are back together.  I hope there are those kind of tears in Heaven from rehearsing of old Tim Conway bits.

Papa instilled some great qualities in me as he was not only was my grandpa but helped raise me in some of my most important years.  When the chaos of divorce entered my young life, my Papa was a steady rock of a man.  He's the only one of my grandparents to see my children.  I'm glad that all three of my kids were placed in his lap.  

There are no goodbyes for Christians; only see you laters.  I have more thoughts coming about him but will save those for myself.  That's the beauty of a memory.  So, for now I say, "See you later" and I'll miss you today.

When God Feels Small

 I have too low of a view of God.

That said, I don't think I will ever lift my view of God as high as I should.  I will always fall short of the infinite heights of His glory, but I often have a lower view of God than I had a week prior.  Meaning, I exalt God in my mind's eye and then days or minutes later shrink God again.

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."

-A.W. Tozer The Knowledge of the Holy

If you're like me, you also need to have more appropriate thoughts about God.  If you're like me, you would live entirely more holy if you more rightly thought of God.  If you're like me, you would have a deeper appreciation of your salvation and adoption if you had a more accurate understanding of our Father who art in Heaven.

There isn't a sin or an anxiety that can't be traced back to a low view of God.  

So, how can we lift our view of God?  How can we magnify Him like a telescope that take gargantuan figures and makes them look a little more like the size they are? 

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Genesis 1:1

This opening verse of the Bible is what has helped me lift my view of God recently.  Let me show you three ways that my view of God has been exalted in through this one verse.

1) The entire Bible is about God.

The Bible is, primarily, the means God has used to specially reveal Himself to us.  The Bible certainly helps us live better lives, but it is first and foremost about God.  "In the beginning God..." This verse sets up the main character of Scripture.  This opening verse reminded me that I need to look for who God says He is in His Word.  I often read the Bible utilitarianly.  I read it to get something of use out of it; but it's first about who my God is.  Will the knowledge of God prove useful?  Yes, the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight (Proverbs 9:10).  But my eyes must be looking outward and upward rather than simply inward when I read the whole Bible.

2) God is without beginning.

"In the beginning God..." At the beginning of what?  All things.  Meaning that before ALL things began God was there.  God is eternal in both directions.  After we have lived for an eternity (if that were possible) God would still be an eternity older than we are.  If you just breezed by that sentence, turn back and slowly read it again and give it a thought.  God is eternally older than all.  God has always been and will always be.  My little brain can sort of begin to grasp an eternal thing one way, but my brain starts to hurt when I try to make eternity a two way street.  If this fails to lift your view of God, I'm at a loss for what will.

3) God created the heavens and the earth.

Look at your children and think about how they started as one cell.  Think about how one cell became all you see in them.  That once one cell can now ask you a ton of questions.  Isn't that wild?  Or think about the complexity of the human eye.  God designed it and holds it together.  

It's Fall.  So, take a look at the beauty of this season.  Walk out in nature and let its beauty guide your mind to wonder at the One who created it all.  Isn't it amazing that the first thing God wanted us to know about Him is that He created the universe?  The first thing He wants us to do is look at all that we're surrounded by, heck, all that. we are, and wonder at how marvelous His creation is.  Let the orange, yellow and reds of the trees make you smile.  Let the videos of Hurricane Ian's destructive power fill you with fear.  Let the flying bird make you wonder.

We all need our view of God lifted.  We need to be enraptured by the scope and majesty and wisdom of our infinitely glorious God.  Take time now to spend five minutes thinking about one or two things that will take your view of God up the mental escalator.  Magnify God like a telescope to see Him a little more like He truly is today.

The Oldest Trick in the Book

 Do you ever feel that God is holding out on you?

I spoke recently with someone that has a desire to do something implicitly contrary to the Word of God.  When I told him that the thing he desired was in direct opposition to the will of God he didn't seem too phased.  

"I'll just do my thing and then when I'm ready to settle down I'll do it that way.  I just feel if I do it that way I will be stuck and will miss out on something better."

What this person verbalized was that he was falling for the oldest trick in the book, quite literally.

"But the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'" Genesis 3:4

You probably know the rest of the story.  Eve ate the fruit.  Adam ate the fruit.  Sin entered the world and is still here.

"God is holding out on you."

The first lie told is still being told today.  

Don't fall for the oldest trick in the book.  I, on the basis of the Word of God, can tell you that God has not withheld any good thing.  The Triune God loves to lavish good gifts on His children.  He is not a serpent giving father (Matthew 7:9).  Our God gives good gifts.  Our God gave us Jesus.  If He did not spare His own Son why would you believe that He is holding out on you? No, my God is not holding out but is freely giving all good and perfect gifts (Romans 8:32).

When we believe the old lie we miss out on God's goodness.  Father knows best.  The irony is that in seeking the "greater" things we miss out on the greatest.  

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33).

The moments we fall for the oldest trick in the book are the moments we disparage the name of God.  See, in these moments we proclaim God to be a dead-beat dad.  In these moments of selfishness we act as though God was the selfish one. In these moments of faithlessness we proclaim to the world and ourselves that the Faithful God is not to be fully trusted.  Every sinful FOMO moment is spiritual slander.

Do you trust God or not?  Well, do you?  Do I?  

Don't fall for the oldest trick in the book today.

Our 9th Anniversary

 Nine short years ago I pledged myself to Christine in marriage.  These nine years have gone so fast and yet I can hardly remember or imagine life prior to having my beautiful wife by my side.  A lot has changed but my commitment to her and her commitment to me has not.  

Below is non-exhaustive, non-ordered list of nine reasons I love being married to Christine Ray.

 

1) She is a Constant Friend

When we were about to be married we longed to say "goodnight" instead of "goodbye".  I wanted so badly to roll over instead of roll away in a vehicle when our day was over.  I have that now.  My friend is with me in a constant sleep-over.

2) She is a Ministry Partner

There are many things I could do in ministry and service while single that I can't do as a husband and father.  There are many advantages to being single (1 Corinthians 7).  That said, my wife is a ministry partner in ministries we couldn't do well while single.  We've provided stability and love to children in foster care, for example.  I couldn't do and wouldn't do that alone.

3) She Birthed Me Children

Children are a heritage and reward from the LORD (Psalm 127:3).  I wouldn't have my children without her.  Watching her grow, birth and raise children is so beautiful.  I can go on and on about this.

 

4) She is My Lover

Whoever created the lie that single people have all the "fun" was seriously pulling your leg.  In Christine I have someone that I am mad about and she is mad about me.  In the interest of keeping faces from becoming red I won't go on, but I am a blessed man.

5) She is My Sounding Board

If you know me, you know I think aloud.  If you know me, you know that dumb thoughts can come out in this process.  I have worked over the years to put a filter over my mouth, but I need that sounding board that allows for the dumb without judgment.  Christine is that.  She refines my thoughts for public consumption and also hears my complaints that never make it to the public square.  I might explode without her.

6) She Supports My Broadcasting Habit

I'm a junky.  I love broadcasting shows and sports.  I could have jobs that pay better, but I don't know a career that I could love more.  Christine supports my career in spite of the long, weird hours that don't always add up to the pay other long, weird hours could provide.  She wants me to do what I love for a living and keeps the kids alive and the house standing while I do it.

 

7) She is My Encourager

I have many down days.  I have days when I feel like what I do with the church, at my job and for my kids doesn't make a difference.  Christine has countered those days with encouragement.  She often thinks more of me than I do.

8) She Helps Me Live Longer

Before Christine I was on route to die of McDonald's poisoning.  I had not been to a dentist or a doctor in all my single years.  Married men live longer because of women like Christine.  Seriously, I didn't buy vegetables before I was married unless it came with the sub sandwich I bought.

9) She is a Blessing from God

It's been said that the grace of God isn't a thing but rather the radiance of the Trinity Himself shining on our lives.  Christine is a means of grace in my life.  Her face shines the grace of God on me.  She offers me forgiveness daily.  She is good to me when I am less than I should be for her and to her.  She is an absolute blessing to me.  When I found her I found a good thing and obtained favor from the LORD (Proverbs 18:22).

Our 9th anniversary isn't being celebrated with a wonderful trip and I didn't order fireworks to be shot as we dine tonight.  Despite the lack of fanfare, Christine, I hope you realize that I love being married to you today.

Am I a Gentle Man or a Culture Warrior?

The so-called Culture Wars are in full rage all around us.  There have been many "battles" in this war in recent days, months and years.  From legal abortion access to gender and sex classifications to how we read and interpret history the battles have been raging.

I've had a few people ask if I would write on this blog about a few of these topics.  I'm not necessarily against addressing these things in public writing.  To be completely honest, a one, three, five and seventeen year-old have been taking shifts keeping me from my writing and baseball doubleheaders and pure uninspired laziness have been their allies.

My conscience or the Holy Spirit (hard to tell between the two at times) responded to the most recent question with a question of its/His own: Is a desire to and a skill in engaging a cultural battle a most defining quality that people see in me?

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

Fairly recently my church encouraged us all to read Dane Ortlund's Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers (highly recommend).  Ortlund used the above verse, in the style of the classic Puritan writers, as the basis for the entire book.  He says, as Charles Spurgeon before him, that this is the only place in the Gospels where Jesus tells us about His own heart.

Jesus is gentle and lowly in heart.
Am I?

This post isn't designed to plumb the depths of Christ's heart, Dane Ortlund's book is a much better, accessible route to that end.  I just want to know if I am gentle and lowly in heart and if I can be that in a way so as people see that over witty and jagged in pen or tongue.

Again, there is most certainly a place for sharp wit and the demolishing of arguments (2 Corinthians 10:5), but is my trademark quality the very quality of heart that Jesus Himself says is His?

1 Timothy 3:3 says that an elder or overseer must be gentle.  Am I gentle?  

Now, you might be thinking, "Yes, gentleness is important but we also must be strong and courageous."

You're right.  Be strong, play the man, be courageous: these phrases take up much ink in Scripture.  Yet, when Christ, who is the strongest, most courageous man, wanted to tell us about Himself He chose gentle and lowly.

My son is bigger than his 3 year-old and 14 month old siblings.  I often talk to him about being a gentleman.  I tell him that because he is strong he must be gentle.  Because he can overpower he must be especially self-controlled.  That's what a gentleman is: Strength under gentle control.

Brothers and sisters, we have much strength and therefore must exercise and exhibit much more gentleness.  We don't need to enter so-called culture wars from a position of weakness.  We must realize that the strength afforded us must be accompanied by gentleness.  AND if Jesus can be lowly in heart when He always was right then how much more can we when we are far from always right?  

I am not as gentle and lowly in heart as I need to be.  I want to be a man marked by gentleness.  I want to be a gentleman like Jesus.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:12-14

Pursue genuine, Christ-like gentleness in our corse world today.

The Joys of Fatherhood

Fatherhood is important.  Fathers are important.  

There's an epidemic of absent fathers in our nation.  There are fathers not present due to abandonment, incarceration, non-awareness of the existence of their children, premature death and a host of other factors.  Our children need fathers and there are stats upon stats from places like the CDC to the National Fatherhood Initiative to back that up. 

(National Center for Fathering)

I'm not sure why males need to be sold on fatherhood, but it seems we should be selling fatherhood to them.  So many times when fatherhood is pitched it is sold via the responsibility.  For instance, in our churches moms get flowers on Mothers' Day and dads get a lecture on Fathers' Day.  

An apple may keep the doctor away, but I'm more likely to bite it if you tell me it is crisp and sweet.

Fatherhood is sweet.

The joys of fatherhood are bountiful.  Yes, there is much responsibility, but there are more joys.  Being a father is one of the most rewarding endeavors of my life thus far.  I love being a dad.

I love hearing my kids say, "Daddy, I love you."  I love watching them grow and mature and seeing the fruit of my labor.  I love their cuddles.  I love that my young ones think I'm strong as Superman.  I love that my teen copies what I do even if he wouldn't ask for advice.  

Men, we need more present fathers.  But men, we also need more enthusiastic fathers.  We need the men who love being fathers to be vocal about the joys of fatherhood.  Yes, an apple can keep a doctor away but it's also great in a pie.  

This Sunday is Fathers' Day.  This Sunday let's remember how our Heavenly Father delights in His being our Father.  This Sunday let us celebrate the goodness of the men that wear the title of Dad well.  This Sunday share the joys of fatherhood.  In fact, tell me some of the joys of fatherhood you love most today.

The Screams of the Parents

 When I was in my college men's choir we sang "The Prayer of the Children".

Since the unthinkable tragedy, the massacre of children at Robb Elementary I have thought often of the screams of the parents.  Parents stood outside of the school hearing gun shots and seeing inaction.  I've been haunted by the thoughts of their screams, knowing they like me would rather have a body full of bullets than let their children be in that hellish building one more minute.

I can hardly imagine their blood curdling screams for help or the opportunity to help.  My blood runs cold and my heart aches when the thought of their predicament enters my mind.  I was especially struck by this pointless massacre because my little boy just graduated from preschool and is thrilled to be going to elementary in the Fall.  I, without trying, begin to wonder what I might do and what I might say and what I might pray and what I might feel.

At the risk of making their pain into my story, let me tell you what I thought about and have continued to think about since last Sunday.

How would my prayer life change if I prayed for my children's souls the way those parents pleaded for their children on that horrific day?

Without the salvation of Jesus my children are doomed.  No, my May 24, 2022 looked nothing like the parents in Ulvade's and I hope I never have a day like theirs (and I pray something is done to prevent another day like that).  My days in May were normal.  My children's days seemed normal.  Yet, I know they aren't.

Every day the Enemy prowls like a lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).  Satan wants my children.  My children need Jesus and my children's unbridled self wants nothing to do with Him.  If they are not specifically called they will not come and the devil will dine.

One of the most terrifying thoughts as a parent is that I could do everything right and still not have my deepest desire met.  I think of men like Pastor John Piper who have a radically unbelieving son and I imagine poor Christian education in the home wasn't the primary reason for that.  I think of how the thing I want most for my kids is the very thing I can't guarantee they get.  I can bring these horses to water but I can't make them drink.

Long story short, the screams of the parents in Uvalde reminded me that I need to pray for my children with far more tenacity and urgency than I do most days.  How would I pray if my eyes could see the spiritual battle raging around my kids' minds and hearts?  Would I not scream for their Helper?  Would I not appeal to their Defender?

What I most want for my kids is that they come to a persisting, saving faith early in life and that I would see with my own two eyes their baptism.  And my most greedy prayer is that I would baptize them all myself.  God, help me pray for that with fervor and urgency.  You reading, would you pray for me to have endurance in this most important request and would you pray right now my prayer for my children.  Would you remember to pray for unsaved souls with urgency? And finally, would you prayer for these devastated parents today?

Hopefully This Smarts

 I host a morning radio show, so you can guess what I talked about today: The Slap.

Chris Rock made a corny, quarter-century-year-old GI Jane (bald) joke about Will Smith's wife and Smith responded by going on stage and slapping Rock.  Smith then went back to his seat and shouted at Rock not to talk about his wife.  All this in the middle of the Academy Awards.  This Oscars telecast will only be remembered for this moment.  It was wild. Two A-list stars involved in a physical assault on an internationally broadcast, live program.

My co-host and I talked about it and seemingly everyone has talked about it today.  Any show on radio or TV that wanted to be relevant today had to talk about The Slap.  

I also talked about it with my boys.  

I'm not writing this to comment on the salaciousness of the event, I'm writing this to remind parents that this moment is a teaching moment.  Christian parents, if we're to talk about God and His ways when we sit and when we walk along the road (Deuteronomy 6:7), then when life gives us talking points we must utilize them.

So, I talked with our seventeen year old and my nearly five year old.  The topics were the same, but the approach was different, for obvious reasons.  We talked about anger and what we do about anger.

Anger is not necessarily a sin, though it is a gateway unto many sins.  The joke Chris Rock told was not horrifying, but Will Smith was sensitive to his wife's alopecia and baldness.  She was offended by the joke and he was angry about her being offended.  Smith was not wrong to be upset.  It's actually quite a noble thing to have anger arise in the heart of a husband because of the hurt of his wife (I'll not comment on their peculiar marriage here and for this post it's not necessary).  I could see my own wife's heart affected positively that he would be madly driven to stand up for his wife.

Anger is not the opposite of love; it is love in motion.  We only get angry when what we love is threatened.  Smith loved the dignity of his wife and felt that was threatened.  This caused his anger.  (This is not the same as Smith's "love will make you do crazy things" comment which is very similar to language used by abusive partners and was a poor choice of words by Smith).

"Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Proverbs 29:11
"The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult." Proverbs 12:16

In that moment last night Will Smith was a fool.  His foolishness was on full display for the world.  

I talked with my sons about anger today.  Being angry is a natural thing and can be a good thing.  We all will have anger but will anger have us?  Anger had Will Smith.  There may be a time and a place for anger to well up into necessary violence (i.e. an attacker coming at their wife), but the situation at the Oscars was far from that.  

One of the hardest fruits of the spirit to cultivate is self-control.  My four year old, at times, lashes out and slaps when he gets offended.  If the seventeen year old does the same thing he can end up in a jail cell.  Self-control is necessary for manhood.  The boys and I talked about that.  For the teen it was a deep discussion.  For the preschooler it was a reminder about Mr. Roger's song "What do you?' which is all about how we deal with the mad that we feel.

There's a lot more to say about this situation and situations like it and I'm not pretending to have exhausted the subject, but that's just the point of this: say these things with your kids.  Talk with them about how to deal with anger before they foolishly slap a person or, like too many teens in my brother's neighborhood, shoot someone to death over something words can address or love can overlook.

Don't just shoot the breeze around the water cooler about the sleaze of last night, use it teach your children today.

 

Happy Birthday, Christine

 The other day I was sick.  I was in bed from 10:15 p.m. Sunday to 7:00 a.m. Tuesday, other than running to the bathroom. I have not been that sick since I was a kid, and that's counting when I had COVID-19.  

During my sickness my kids were sick, too.  

My wife held everything together.  She's amazing.

Today is Christine's 31st birthday!

 

Christine is so many things to the kids and I and I want to highlight a few.

Mother-

    Christine is an excellent mother to four children now.  She's mothered six total when you add the three foster-children and three she's birthed.  She is focused on raising them up well.

 

Lover-

    Christine is my love.  She is more wonderful than what I dreamed a love could be.  She meets and exceeds all my needs.  I did not know I could be this in love with a person or that a woman could be so lovely.

   Reader-

    Christine is the great reader of stories.  From countless Berenstain Bears books to Narnia, she reads and reads and reads to us.  The kids know she can't do the voices like me, but she's a great reader.  I'm supposed to be so much better at reading aloud, given my profession, but she's the reader extraordinaire.

Supporter-

    My wife is my biggest fan.  She supports my successes.  She is my shoulder to lean on and my ear to complain to.  I need so much more support than you probably think I do.  I am so much less confident than one might expect.  Her support keeps me sane and makes me feel adequate.

Feeder-

    We are alive today because of her.  She feeds us well.  Christine is an excellent cook.  She has fed our littlest children straight from her amazing body. 

Comforter-

    The kids and I have all been held in her sweet arms as we've cried.  My name might get said with excitement, but when the bad dreams come, her name is called out in the night.  When the bumps happen, her kisses are the magic ones. When death and disappointment greet me, she meets me.

Memory Maker-

    You put such care in creating memories for us.  You go out of your way to make things special for us.

 

Christine, you are wonderful.  I don't have the time to recount all the ways.  I hope your 31st year is amazing, I only regret your 30th year went so fast.  I look forward to loving you each day.

Fishing at a Stocked Pond

 I'm not a fisherman.

I'm such a non-fisherman that if I said that in front of my mother she would remind me of the time I was the only one to catch a fish one day on a lake in northern Minnesota.  That one day was over thirty years ago.

I remember a different one day when I was a teen my dad took my brother, my grandpa and I with him fishing.  My dad was selling insurance at the time and was given access to a gentleman's fish-stocked pond.  That day was a blast.  We all caught several fish.  As I remember that day I'm reminded that I like catching much more than I like fishing.

The other day my son asked we what Jesus meant when He said, "I will make you fishers of men."

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen.  And He said to them, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.'" Matthew 4:18-19

Of course, Jesus wasn't inviting them to pull humans out of the sea with nets.  Jesus was calling them, and us, to take part in the gathering of people into the Kingdom of Heaven.  He was calling us to be evangelists of the Good News.

Recently I saw someone on Facebook ask the oft asked question, "If predestination is true, why evangelize?"  

I remember asking that very question as I wrestled with what the Bible has to say about how God sovereignly chooses people and how He also commands that we should go live out the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20).  It's by no means a stupid question, and I'm not just saying that because I also had the question.

As I was explaining 'fishers of men' to four year-old Joshua I asked him a question:

"What matters more: being a good fisherman or having fish in the pond?"

"Having fish in the pond," was his reply.

A stocked pond makes fishing worthwhile.  Fishing in Canada is fun because there are lots of fish to be caught.  Fishing in a retaining pond is a fools errand.  That day with my dad was memorable because there were fish to be caught.

"... He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him.  In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will..." Ephesians 1:4-5

We fishers of men are fishing at a stocked pond.  The very act of being fishers of men is not in vain because there are guaranteed to be fish that can be caught.  

And yet we are called to fish and not to expect the fish to leap into our 5-gallon buckets on the shore.

"How then will they call on Him in who they have not believed?  And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard?  And how are they to hear without someone preaching?... So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."  Romans 10:14-15 & 17

Fishers of men must fish at the pond stocked before the foundations of the earth.  The act of casting and reeling is still necessary.  Yet, must we be good fishers to fish?  In a word: No.  Should we be content to be as incompetent a fisher of men as I am a fisher of fish?  Certainly not!

"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."  Colossians 4:5-6

Our Heavenly Father has taken us fishing with Him at the pond He has fully stocked.  This by itself is a great privilege.  But brothers and sisters when our Father stoops down to help us learn how to better fish we must listen.  When the Great Fisher, who never misses His catch, gives us tips and advice on lure, when He lets us know when to jerk quickly and when to slow play, we must follow instruction.

We are to be extremely patient fishers who know there is a catch to be had.  We are to be as enthusiastic about honing our skills as some of the best anglers we know.  

The pond is not missing a single fish.  

All will be caught.  

You could have a catch.  

Fish today.  

Swaddling Cloths in January

 I am fully aware that today is the 20th of January and not the 20th of December, but I refuse to let a calendar completely affect my thinking about Jesus.

I went to Christmas Eve service at the Springville Library.  During the service we sang hymns and listened to Scripture readings and lit candles before I had to leave the service with an angry baby.  The service was completely ordinary, not in a bad way, but it was the sort of Christmas Eve service I have attended year after year.  It was during this ordinary service that my mind was drawn to an extraordinary, ordinary point of the story.

Swaddling cloths.

Throughout the reading of Luke's version of the Christmas story the detail of swaddling cloths is mentioned.

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

And the angel proclaimed:

"And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:12

Until I became a father I had very little idea what swaddling cloths were.  Now I know very well about swaddling.  We swaddled our children snuggly when they were infants, and we are by no means the only ones.  I don't know a parent who doesn't swaddle.  Swaddling is the norm and has been for centuries.

So, I had to ask: Why does Luke tell us Mary swaddled Jesus and why on earth does the angel tell the shepherds that Jesus was swaddled?

I had never asked myself those questions when reading or hearing this passage, but on Christmas Eve this time it leapt out at me.  The question was begged.  I mean, the Bible makes no mention of whether the Christ-child had a pacifier or if Mary nursed Him, but it tells us this detail.  Why?  Why did the angel mention that baby Jesus was in swaddling cloths and in a manger?  Surely He was the only kid in town lying in a feeding trough.  Animal feeding trough sleeping certainly was sign enough for searching shepherds, why mention the ordinary when an out of the ordinary was occurring?

As I pondered those questions with my own crying son it occurred to me that ordinariness is extraordinary when it comes to the very Son of God.  It's hard to imagine God as a baby, but when we do we tend to imagine Him as a very unbaby baby.  How could God be anything close to ordinary in any respect?  Isn't He completely holy; completely other?

I remember when my own first born son came into this world.  We wrapped him in a swaddle and laid him in a bassinet... in the Waverly Health Center without a domesticated animal in sight.  Little Joshua was so weak and frail and his little head was bruised from the trauma of birth.  He was easily startled and would lift his arms above his head at the slightest sound and so he needed the comfort of being wrapped tightly in a cotton swaddle.  For months his swaddle helped him sleep peacefully.

The God of all comfort needed comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Jesus is 100% God and 100% man.  He lowered Himself so much that the God of all comfort needed the comfort of strips of linen wrapped tightly around His little frame.  Jesus knows how we need to be comforted because He needed comfort from His first moments on.

The Omniscient God had a startle reflex (Psalm 139:4)

Jesus has always known everything, and has even known it before it comes to be for He ordains and is sovereign over all.  Yet, as a human baby He had a startle reflex.  Jesus humbled Himself so far as to be freaked out a bit by a sudden noise coming near the manger.  

The God who will wipe away all tears cried (Revelation 21:4)

Jesus was a normal baby.  Jesus needed to be swaddled.  One of the reasons we swaddled our kids tightly was so they wouldn't cry.  The song "Away in a Manger" has a silly line in the second verse that says, "But little Lord Jesus no crying He makes."  I sing "some" instead of "no" in that verse because Jesus was supernatural and all natural at the same time.  My Lord Jesus knows weeping first hand (John 11:35).  Jesus' mom swaddled Him to comfort Him.  Mary most certainly wiped her holy little one's tears, too.

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:5-7

Just because the tree is gone and the lights are put away doesn't mean we can't continue to ponder the wonderful humanity of Jesus.  We should keep in our minds that "we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:15-16) today.