I Saw His Face

We had just had another episode where we put our foot down and he pushed back.  He had violated rules and so we grounded him from the TV in his room, so no Fortnite.  He was not the least bit happy and he was acting like a typical pissed off 14 soon to be 15 year old.  He was going to walk to his aunt's place, even though his aunt and us were on the same team in this and the answer was the going to be the same there.

A few months early he tried to walk out and I wouldn't let him.  I stood in the doorway because I knew he was more talk than action when it came to truly disobeying the rules.  The social worker had commended my passion that time, but said it was wiser to just let him walk out if he tried it again.

His aunt soon came to our front door with him by her side.  Then he decided to just walk out and live outside on his own.  We knew that wouldn't last long because it was cold, so I left the door unlocked and told him it would remain that way until he came back.

As he walked away I wasn't afraid of him freezing to death; he was too smart to stay out that long.  I wasn't worried about him running away forever; he knew we loved him and he knew our home was his as long as it had to be.

I was worried about what might happen to a black teen out at night.  I was worried about what someone else might assume a young, black, teenage boy might be up to on the streets at night. I was worried the cornrows he was so proud to finally have and looked so good in would be seen differently by someone else.

He came back to the house after a little bit, mad but in bed.

I only had a black teenaged son for five months and he was my foster son and not of my own flesh, but in that time I got a small taste of the fears other parents have every day.  

In our five months with "J" we had some conversations.  We talked about how his actions might be perceived differently because of his skin.  We talked about the importance of school and incarceration rates for black men without a degree.  He talked about the looks he felt he got from others.  We got a small taste of the conversations our black friends have with their sons that I will never have to have with Joshua.  This opened our eyes.

When George Floyd was murdered I couldn't help but see "J"'s face under that damn knee.  I couldn't help but picture "J" looking at bystanders and pleading for breath.  I couldn't help but think how if it were "J" that was killed the world wouldn't ever know or care to know about his sweetness, curiosity and humor, but his worst moment.  I couldn't help but feel for George Floyd's loved ones who spent hours prepping him for how to interact with police only to watch him be crushed.

I'm not asking you to have a new opinion about police brutality.  I'm not asking you to have a new opinion on race in America.  Not long ago I didn't have the slightest bit of understanding of this.  I didn't, and perhaps refused, to get a glimpse of what darker skinned people feel and experience.  If you don't get it, that's OK.  I only am asking you to imagine the conversations our brown brothers and sister have with their children that white parents don't.  Then to let yourself feel that weight.

I don't know the solution.  I don't know exactly how to feel when a city burns while a family weeps.  But I know I long for something better for us all today.

The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!'  And let him who hears say, "Come!"...
He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.'
Amen.  Come Lord Jesus." Revelation 22;17a & 20 

Your Church Will Restart the Wrong Way

Your church will restart the wrong way.

That's a bit clickbait, but it is true.  No matter how and when your church restarts services it will be wrong... to somebody.

Right now churches around the world are trying to figure out how and when to restart public, corporate worship services.  Some have already started.  Some are not even a month or two within their restart date.  But no matter how your church does it someone will think it is wrong and someone will think strongly about that.

Some reading this can't believe churches are thinking about restarting now.  Some are appalled that churches have already convened in the non-virtual sphere.  Some think it is irresponsible and dangerous.  When some of you read that some churches are ready to start again it fills you with fear and perhaps anger.

Some of you reading this can't believe your church isn't meeting in person already.  Some of you are frustrated at the fearfulness of your leaders.  Some of you can't understand why a restaurant would open before your church.  When some of you hear that churches aren't meeting you feel frustrated and upset.

Every church I know is comprised of both of these types of people and just about every type in between.  And that is why I can guarantee your church will restart in the wrong way in the eyes of someone.

Here's what I ask you to remember:  

1) Your church leaders don't know everything. 
They can't.  There are very few churches that have epidemiologists as elders.  These people are men and women striving to do their best.  They don't know everything and can't know everything.  And they can't and won't please everyone even if pleasing people was their goal.

2) You don't know everything.
You don't know the immunocompromised and elderly members that weigh heavily on their hearts.  You don't know the people struggling with depression and anxiety that need to be with others.  You don't know the depth of planning they are dealing with to reopen safely.  You don't know the advice the county health department gives them.  You don't know how the leadership team is comprised of both types of people mentioned before and how hard they have to strive to come together to make a good plan.

If this pandemic and the response to it should be teaching one thing it is that we are small, helpless mortals.  Sadly it seems that more of us have learned that we are experts and everyone that disagrees with us is an idiot.

As members of local churches whose leadership is striving to do their best to restart in a responsible matter, we must remember to let all of our actions to be controlled by love. 

This passage is often read in weddings, but it was first written to help a local church function as one body made of many, unique members:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

Pray for your pastors, elders and deacons.  Pray they have wisdom.  Pray they have courage. Pray they have self-control.  But above all pray they have love and love them and each other today.